We Are Home To Mr.NO & Mr. IT’s MINE!

Red and I have always tried to use positive words rather than negative words when communicating things to MLM. Kids are like sponges and like mirrors…they’ll absorb everything and reflect them back on you…add boomerang to that list since they keep coming back no matter where you throw them. You *don’t* throw your kids? Pity….try it sometime…it’s cathartic!

Anyhoo…moving on from my not very maternal fantasies…we’ve been wondering how to get MLM out of his habit of saying NO to every damn thing that we ask him to do or not to do AND also his habit of justifying his actions by proclaiming- IT’s MINE!! Am tacking on only 2 exclamations…he adds a gazillion after his screeches.

The thing is…no matter how hard you try, it’s inevitable that the child hears NO from you on a fairly regular basis. If not NO then its loyal family of NOT, DON’T, STOP all hover inside our mouths just waiting to jump out and assault the child bent on doing things his own way.

Take today’s instance for example: MLM somehow got his hands on an extension cord that was happily wound up and kept out of reach- or so we thought. He unraveled the entire bit and dumped the rest onto his cycle carrier and was zooming around the house. I saw and asked him to stop knowing that the tangled cables would either mess up the bike or would cause a fall and a resulting ouchie; post which I’d have to kiss the aforementioned ouchie and tell the bike it had been very naughty for hurting MLM. Yup…my days are filled with fun things to do.

So the little man immediately acts like I’m the Gestapo and starts yelling IT’s MINE!! and NO! NO! NO! GIFF IT BACK!!! Seeing that the belligerence in my eyes hadn’t dimmed a bit he starts off on his impressions of a banshee (not a pretty sound especially on a day when I’ve been diagnosed with AOM) and just carries on till I box his ears and threaten to give the cycle away to the trash collector tomorrow morning.  Yes…we’re the threatening parents…rather I am…Red still tries to strike a balance…when that fails he calls me and I promptly come in and threaten.

The point is it shouldn’t be this hard…you shouldn’t have to be a bad cop for your kid to understand that you want them to be safe. But given that children much older than my boy have deliberately done dumber things, with more serious implications just goes to show you that kids really don’t listen. It’s not done with malice either. They just don’t know any better. And since you know better and try to stop them and end up cementing their intentions even more. But the alternative isn’t a pretty one at all…isn’t the most important part of being a parent is to keep your child safe? Not every experience is worth having when seen from a parent’ s viewpoint and in reality.

But till that glorious day comes when my child actually exhibits that he has brains and can use them appropriately, I guess we’ll be keeping company with the evil twins- Mr.NO & Mr. IT’s MINE.

I just hope their family doesn’t grow any more…I have very few weapons left in my arsenal 😦 The most effective of which continue to be Mr.Bedtime (for the child) and Mrs. Glass-0f-Wine ( for moi).

Toodles!

You Just Can’t WIN!!

MLM and I have been engaging in lots of verbal skirmishes of late. I’ve been on the losing side I’m not ashamed to say. It’s the truth. Anyone who has kids knows that they (the offspring) always win. Till they go off to college. Then we win. And keep winning because there is some role-reversal that happens and they don on a lot of the roles previously taken on only by us.

I’m so eagerly awaiting MLM’s kids. I know they’ll be all he is and MORE and I’ll be cackling away to glory from either up there or down there. Down there is more likely. But I digress…this is what happened today. And it’s just the tip of the iceberg of the stuff that regularly happens.

I was pottering around and adding things to the laundry basket when I heard a door opening, Knowing MLM I thought he was trying to access the front door or a loo. It was the loo. Within 2 seconds of entering the bathroom he’s naked as the day he was born and in a meditative pose on the commode.

When I asked him why he was naked since potty training has been done and dusted a while back, he said his clothes were dirty. I had seen his clothes a few minutes back and they seemed fine to me. Nothing filthy. So I asked him how did they get dirty. To which he promptly replied, “I do it! You go wash clothes now. I give my clothes. ” and smiles beatifically.

When I stared at him, giving him my Look Of Shame, he shuffles his toes and says,” I put on clothes, it’s cold Ayu”.

You just can’t win. They have you surrounded on all sides and don’t they just know it!

Only Pains…Gains Are Faaar Behind!

We live on the 7th floor and there are perfectly good stairs leading to wherever you want to go in the building. *shudders* at the thought of trekking down all the way when there are perfectly good elevators in place too!

But with gravity having more influence on the body day by day I decided to grin and bear it and be a (wo)man about it! I wasn’t going to chicken out…even after I counted the last stair at 110.

Now for some people that many stairs are no biggie. And for people used to running after hyperactive kids that kind of stamina required might be in abundance. Not me. I’ve had strength to lift things and use heft but unless I really work at it doing anything at a stretch really tires me out. Probably why am rather squishy all over rather than just have that kind of solid fat that some people seem to possess.

But endurance and a healthy BMI notwithstanding I wanted to do things differently in this new place. And as soon as I made that resolution it came back and kicked me in the teeth.

Apart from the seemingly unending boxes, laundry and whatnot, the only thing getting exercise these days are my arms from pushing MLM on the swings. Had I kept up that pace I’d ended up looking like Popeye very soon!

So I’ve decided that since 30 is the new 20 and all that jazz..I need to tap into my mojo yet again and get going. It’s like birthing a baby. No…scratch that! NOTHING is like birthing a baby. That is, was and always will be EXCRUCIATING!  Epidural my left butt cheek! But that’s another post for another day.

I did the whole going up and coming down bit and did a few rounds of the entire compound as well and while it didn’t put my heart in overdrive my leg muscles were switching like they’d been given a wee bit of the Taser love.

But it’s a start and I plan to be not panting and wheezing like a broken down jalopy by the end of the month.

Of course if I conk off before that one day it’ll definitely say ‘Death By Stairs’ as my epitaph!

All morbidity aside this makes me look forward to tomorrow’s walk-

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