This essay has been doing the rounds of emails and forwards for a long time now but it’s hilarious each time you read it.
Posting it here for those of you who haven’t been assaulted by Biharism yet.

Indian Cow
HE IS THE COW. “The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks,  but will do so when he is got child. He is sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four
legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. horses dont   have any such attachment  . What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk  and so forth.Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species. Also his other motion.. gober is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes[like Pizza ] , in hand , and   drying in the sun. Cow
is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then  afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to  be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards.He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other
side. This is done to frighten away the flies.

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