Random. Structured. Haphazard. All Me.

I thought being middle-aged, managing the health and emotional requirements of 3 elderly family members and a teen while valiantly facing off with (peri)menopause would be the main things I would be contending with for the foreseeable future. Hah!

What I forgot to take into account are the supernatural beings who also dwell in my house viz My Bad(MB) and It Wasn’t Me! (IWM!)…yes, the exclamation is similar to names of the Kalahari Bushmen but without the clicks needed to pronounce it.

Now MB and IWM! aren’t your run of the mill ghouls, poltergeists and what have you…they don’t produce a cold draft whenever they pass through the house nor do they leave ectoplasm around à la Slimer but they do leave bits of disarray which has become their calling card. They appear to be particularly fond of the kitchen, the bedrooms, the bathroom, and anywhere which has just been tidied up.

For example, one of the things that brings them utmost joy is NEVER putting back anything in its proper place. The toothpaste which should go back, in the stand with the toothbrushes, on a small glass shelf above the sink will always be a few feet from its designated place. Usually playing hide and seek by concealing itself behind the sink. Because why wouldn’t I want to keep a tube of toothpaste there?

Who did it? probably ITM! MB usually comes out to play when clothes are scattered all over. The washed clothes getting mixed up with unwashed clothes stinking of teenage BO? That’s MB’s handiwork. Putting dirty clothes in the laundry in such a fell swoop that washed and ironed clothes go along with it? That’s MB too! The soap dish filled with water and the formerly solid soap now donning a new liquid avatar? Yep, you guessed it. That’s all MB!

IWM! also comes out to play when the lights and fan are left running long after a room has emptied. When wet towels start resembling WET curtains hanging from the bathroom rods and shelf, where neatly folded DRY clothes and towels await the unsuspecting individual who will reach for them and experience that, “Oh man, not again” feeling.

MB particularly delights in water bottles being left around the house where they are liable to be knocked over and the water spilled. MB usually ensures that the non-empty bottles are left with the caps off or not properly closed. With the empty glass bottles, MB likes to place them right in the path of an oncoming foot because who doesn’t want to clean up shards of glass for fun! MB also likes to neatly cover empty utensils which formerly contained food and prank an unsuspecting and hungry person at the most inopportune time.

While these two imps have caused or are causing their mischief, the light of my life- TO, is usually nowhere to be found. He will be found after bouts of yelling (on my part), while he is taking off the noise-cancelling headphones and sporting a bewildered and halfway-resigned and halfway-hurt expression on his face. He follows that up with a, “What did I do now?” and when I tell him why the fuse on top my head is gradually getting smaller, that’s when MB and IWM! make an appearance and try to bail him out. Because it’s usually MB or IWM! who done the deed, never him.

Even if they routinely leave a trail of empty snack packets in their wake, they have their spectral hearts in the right place. Amen.