Random. Structured. Haphazard. All Me.

A Tangled Yarn of Thoughts Being Unravelled…

Recent Posts

  • 2025: The Year of Car Conversations

    2025: The Year of Car Conversations

    I muse. Often. And while I was musing over my life-sustaining elixir this morning, I realized that 2025 has really been the year of ‘car conversations’ for me.

    For the uninitiated, a ‘car conversation’ is simply a conversation that you have had while in a car or while someone else is in a car and speaking with you. Now, we all drive and talk all the time; such is life. So why is this important in any way at all? Well, a conversation is more than just the act of opening our mouths and speaking…it’s an exchange of thoughts, ideas and a proper back and forth where you end up communicating things about yourself to another person/ other people. And this year, the communicating has been amped up quite a bit,

    I speak to one person as part of my daily routine. She is my bestie-sister-soulmate who is halfway across the world. We usually catch up while she’s driving to work, coming back from work and this year has been one with many heartfelt talks which leave us both impacted- in more ways than one.

    Another 5-day-a-week routine is catching up with my mother while I do the school run for TO. She’s usually wound up with lunch at the time I leave and our talks, filled with the mundane, the exciting and sometimes explicit, often last till I see TO making his way to the car. We exchange recipes, hopes, gossip and it always helps a girl to vent to her mother and engage in silly laughter apropos to nothing.

    With TO, the car rides have bordered on the therapeutic, cathartic, heartfelt, educative (for both sides) and a lot of personal sharing which I honestly didn’t see anticipate doing with a boy child simply because he’s a boy. I guess gender stereotypes do have their hold on us; firmer than we realize.

    But another aspect that makes our rides so meaningful is the inclusion of music almost from the start. TO usually has control of the playlist and we headbang, singalong or muddle our way through lyrics while we muddle our way through traffic till we reach home. And it’s been a beautiful bonding experience. Not merely because I get time with my child but there’s something about being in a closed space with a person that helps in becoming a confidant of sorts.

    Everyone says that our lives are more hectic than they were a decade ago, even a couple of year ago. And while that’s true, the intrinsic need to reach out and communicate with someone hasn’t changed. The mode might have moved to Bluetooth over face-to-face but it’s not any less significant.

    Who knew that the burgeoning traffic of the city would end up having a silver lining after all?

  • Blast From the Past

    Blast From the Past

    TO is studying psychology in high school. I use the word studying very lightly. The mere thought of studying and revising before exams acts better than a sedative ever could. And while he is reportedly awake, alert and participating in class; he does a very thorough impression of someone suffering from amnesia whenever he’s asked to share anything that he’s learnt. But been there and done that so he’s given a pass…for the millionth time.

    Anyhoo, being the self-proclaimed psychology expert at home, I was quickly checking in with him about the terms, theories etc and we touched upon the topic of associative memory and cues and I guess that would have jogged quite a few associations in my own mind as well.

    This morning during the school drop-off, I saw the letters ASL on the bumper of a car I was behind and it was like being pulled through a portkey into the 2000s!

    For those who no longer chat on chat platforms (?) like MIRC and ICQ (possibly because they’ve gone the way of the dodo), ASL was the way you got did your intro while chatting with someone for the first time. And for this unworldly college girl from the tier-2 and 3 cities of India, it was a whole new dimension to explore. One of the college besties helped me set up my first email id because till then I didn’t know something like that existed. 1998 was the year of the awakening in so many ways.

    My interactions with computers in any shape and form had ended with the tiny-screened Macs which were in my elementary school classrooms. Since learning via fun was a go-to way to teach concepts, Carmen San Diego and the Oregon Trail were games we were encouraged to play. Not sure how much we learnt but they definitely built sturdier desktops back in the day is all I’ll say about that.

    In high school, we had a class which passed for learning computers but sadly, the teacher’s inability to make things fun or even tell us how the program/language would be useful, made eyes glaze over every single time and I vaguely remember it was something called Lotus and we were being taught something that may or may not have been the precursor to MS Excel. The information lies in the Bermuda Triangle that houses many of my memories.

    Fast forward to the last 90s and early 2000s and suddenly there was a world of relatively higher-speed internet, cyber cafes that did the job that regency ballrooms did to enable introduction and mingling amongst the sexes. So seeing ASL meant that you were to state your age, sex and location and take it from there. And so we did. Sometimes with hilarious results and other times with a bit of a learning that privacy and discretion were still lessons needed to be learnt.

    All in all, it’s been a good start to the day…some nostalgia intermixed with the present and some thoughts for the future. Or, it might have something to do with a stronger than usual coffee I made myself today…c’est la vie!

  • Way To Be Literal

    Way To Be Literal

    Last night my family and I sat down with a gift that TO’s going to be giving it to a friend for her birthday. It’s a fun game called Pun Intended.

    The way it works is this- there are flashcards with an image on one side. This image is meant to represent a phrase or a concept. On another side is the hint saying ONE WORD, TWO WORDS along with the actual answer.

    When it’s a person’s turn, another player gives them a hint. They say the number of words the answer contains. Then, they show them the card face with the image. And they guess at the possible answer.

    sYesterday I showed TO a card which showed a flame sitting at a desk with a laptop/ computer and working. The answer was FIREWORK. When I asked him what was in the image, he said there’s a fire. When prodded what the fire was doing he replied completely innocently- “It’s burning”.

    And this is what happens with the literal-minded ones. The fire was truly burning. What else could it possibly be?

  • Of All The Weird…

    TO, who usually looks at venomous creatures and reptiles with cartoon hearts in his eyes, just bellowed for me from one end of the house. This time, it was because a SINGLE.TINY.LITTLE. SPARROW was sitting on the floor, in the middle of our dining room.

    The sparrow flitted from the floor to the dining table and my BIG.BRAVE.BOY jumped halfway across the room to get away from it.

    The sparrow being more sensible, took to flight and squeezed its way back out of the nets covering our balcony. All this after being coaxed to not terrorize the giant that was jumping around behind it.

    A boy-man grumbled sotto voce; cursing the nets which kept out “stupid” pigeons but let in other birds instead!

    That’s way the cookie crumbles!

  • Memories

    Memories

    It’s a bit of an addiction of mine to attempt the Wordle first thing in the morning. Follow that up by checking the news. Today the news contained this- Ozzy Osbourne, Black Sabbath singer and godfather of heavy metal, dead at 76.

    Now I’m not a metalhead by any stretch of the imagination. Got into listening to this genre courtesy people I met in my life. And honestly while some of my favorite songs do fall into this category, it doesn’t set my world on fire. But what this headline did do was invoke a piece of nostalgia from a very significant time in my life.

    I studied in Bangalore back when it really was THE place to be. The Main Street where us college kids hung out, had a place many of us thronged to- Music World. Now Music World was special because for the first time in India, we had listening posts. They let us sample different genres of music for free. It was a good way to pass the time while you waited for your friends or just because.

    A good friend of mine introduced me to the music of Ozzy Osbourne. Till then I had heard of Black Sabbath but in a very offhand way. The new online music channels usually played more mainstream music like pop and Indipop. Rock and metal were restricted to different times. These genres had a smaller and more niche viewership.

    My friend was eagerly waiting for the album The Ozzman Cometh to drop. In the meantime, he made it his personal mission to make sure I was prepared to welcome the music. He felt it deserved the due respect. And from there it began. We listened to CD after CD of Black Sabbath. We hogged the listening posts and got glares from others waiting their turn.

    Music and the people who create it, end up playing a larger role in our lives than we realize. A lot of my most precious memories have songs, melodies linked to them.

    Over time, one of Ozzy’s songs have become a staple in my playlist..have a listen and appreciate the magic he used to wield.

  • Movie Review: Maa

    Movie Review: Maa

    Let me start by writing that if you haven’t seen this movie yet; don’t. It’s a travesty of a “horror” movie. Whether it had marketed itself as a scary movie or not, the storyline, acting, and build-up to the climax are loosely woven together. As a result, the movie falls down pretty quickly.

    The pace is slow, the startles and spooky elements are sub-par and one wonders at the kind of midlife crisis actress Kajol is going through that she would consent to being a part of such a movie.

    Without further trashing, here is what Maa is all about: in the age old battle between good and evil and also between Goddess Kali and the demon Raktabeej, there’s a new entrant called Amsaja. He’s born of a remnant of Raktabeej’s blood and is trying for world domination by spreading his seed (eww gross) through a particular family that has the blessings of Goddess Kaali.

    Kajol (a daughter-in-law) of the family is unwillingly pulled into the maelstrom that is going to play out when she has to prevent her daughter from becoming the vessel that brings forth Amsaja’s brood into this world.

    The settings of the old-fashioned zamindar ‘rajbaadi’ apart and a bit of the spooky forest which has been tainted by Amsaja’s presence and that of the blood of the girl babies who were sacrificed to appease his wrath and lust; the movie falls flat in not being able to create any kind of an atmosphere which complements the story.

    The director in his infinite wisdom, decided to have the actors speak a version of Hindi which is liberally laced with Bangla instead of making this a Bangla movie from the onset. The cast is rounded off with Ronit Roy (the bad guy), Indraneil Sengupta (in a blink and miss it role) and a really whiny and annoying young actress-Kherin Sharma, who plays Kajol’s daughter.

    When I say that I’ll never get those 2 hours of my life back, heed my words. Avoid it when it comes on OTT as well. The only thing that works here is Kajol’s fairly lush hair and whatever hair products she’s using to keep them that way.

    This movie may be about the Divine Mother or the limitless love a mother has for her child but it’s still crap. No amount of mother love can rectify that.

    Nuff said.

  • Keep Calm And….

    Keep Calm And….

    It’s quite fitting that this particular post is centered around keeping calm and doing something; especially now. There has been turmoil in the world for a while now and it’s recently come to our doorstep. Never a good thing even when we are sitting comfortably far away from the where the danger actually lies. But suddenly things are a lot more real. They used to be restricted thousands of miles away between Russia-Ukraine or Israel-Palestine. Now it’s U-S. And that’s scary.

    In 1939, the British government brought out motivational posters to keep up the morale of the troops and the citizenry. The original posters said, ” Keep Calm and Carry On” and were intended to keep the people alert and active during the blitz. Over time they became a meme that spans anything that requires one to actively be reminded to Keep Calm.

    I have my own reasons for not being capable of keeping calm. My child is writing his final exams at the first major academic crossroad of his life. In the midst of the ups and downs that come with trying to be a supportive parent while being a realistic one (essentially saying, “Never mind whatever happens, it’ll be fine” to wanting to say, “Flunking isn’t an option that can be exercised”), my head is bombarded with the news of missiles, ceasefires, enemy nations and whatnot.

    And that’s a tricky path to navigate. And when there are too many things where I control the outcome to a minuscule or nonexistent amount, I turn to the mundane and boy are they a blessing! Because no matter what’s going down in the world, you will ALWAYS need clean clothes. And washed laundry will always need to be hung out, picked up, folded, ironed and put back in the proper place.

    So my course of action over the last few days has been this…KEEP CALM and DO LAUNDRY! And it’s been a game changer. If TO’s gloomy about something that didn’t go well and I’ve cheered him as much as I can and it’s still a down-in-the-dumps kind of situation then the food stains, collars and cuffs get all my angst and emerge cleaner than they have in a while.

    If the news of civilian and military casualties is getting to be very depressing and that’s all what is around me, the sheets get an extra hard and loud snap while being hung out or folded; and the emotion passes for that moment.

    The mundane gets a bad rep. It’s what we all fall back on when life gets too overwhelming and feels out of control. Because you can always count on the mundane. It’s not fun, it’s not exciting. But it remains the same. And it’s very comforting at a time when not many things are.

    Nuff said.

  • Teacher, Leave Them Kids Alone!

    Teacher, Leave Them Kids Alone!

    I just read this article online. I had to express myself. My first reaction was a knee-jerk and rather annoyed one. However, my second reaction was more controlled and contemplative.

    My child is neurodivergent. But that’s not all that he’s about. He’s an eye-rolling, shaggy-haired teen. He was the most beeyootiful baby in the whole word (IMHO). He is honestly the center of his father and my universe. He is my only child and naturally assumes the center-of-the-universe position. The child is funny, wacky, annoying, and sensitive. In a nutshell, he is a child growing up into an interesting individual.

    When we enrolled him in playgroup, we weren’t expecting much out of it. He was just under two years old, and the session lasted only for 2 hours. I dropped him off and came back home. After having my coffee and sorting out the house, it was time to pick him up again.

    The entire playgroup experience was so he would socialize. Meet his peers and learn some skills which we couldn’t teach entirely at home. He also go annoy someone else for 2 hours before my shift kicked back in :)

    Many little kids under the age of 5 can appear to be “different.” Even some kids below the age of 7 may seem that way. Either they talk too much, or not enough. They are too hyper or too quiet. They are not always very well-balanced. The reason for that is simply this: they are just learning about the world. They are trying to understand things beyond their immediate environment. Until now, this environment comprised of mom, dad, and home. They are quite honestly in the process of getting “made”.

    Their reactions to the stimuli they face around them can change from day to day if not minute to minute. Unless there are very strong physiological social and behavioral markers that set them aside from the rest; it can be quite premature and damaging to come to conclusions about who they are and how they might turn out. Especially by people who aren’t trained to notice and comprehend everything. Let alone diagnose things which fall into the ambit of ‘listening issues’

    My child’s class had a quiet corner (substitute naughty) for the kids who needed a timeout but might not have understood the concept entirely. Needless to say, TO’s tiny butt used to be parked in those chairs quite often! And how did he circumvent being in the “quiet corner”? Simple! He merely enticed the rest of the kids to come and sit with him so the erstwhile quiet corner became the regular class, with the teachers being left behind on the carpet doing the activities by themselves. A prime example of turning a minus into a plus if there ever was one.

    So when I come across articles which quote “teachers” and early childhood caregivers et al citing “issues” like “running around during circle time” I really have to wonder what where they expecting from the children in the first place. And when kids aged 3 years or so are asked to leave their small social groups where they have just started to interact, engage and start to feel safe, for reasons such as not knowing how to ask a question (raise your hand while sitting quietly somewhere and wait to be called on), I believe those adults are in the wrong line of work and should go find things which require the utmost precision and order since they will *not* get that from preschoolers. Ever. And if they do, they should turn around and run since it’s probably the Children of the Corn playing out in real life.

    I was a Gymboree Play & Music instructor and parent for a while. I attended the program with my child from the time he was 10 or 11 months old and I started conducting the programs for kids who were still in the infant stage sometime down the line. Some of the tots would sit and stare googly-eyed at Gymbo (the Gymboree mascot), others would want to tear his hair out, some would want to chew on it and with each kid a new action would come into play.

    Our job was to understand the child’s reaction and help mold it to the desired action which was to explore, learn and appreciate. And if the child’s extent of appreciation was to just clap their chubby hands together while they drooled, then so be it! Imagine a line of impeccably attired, hair properly combed babies, clapping at the right places, smiling when appropriate and not being all over the place. Stepford much?

    So when I get to know about toddlers and other tots getting expelled from preschools because their behavior was “inappropriate”, I have to wonder which Kool-Aid these educators have been drinking. Because being messy, fussy, weird, silly and being an unpredictable ball of emotions and actions is what such little kids are all about!

    Nuff said!

  • My Life Right Now

    My Life Right Now

  • Totally Lost In Translation

    The family was playing Pictionary before dinner last night. TO decided to choose the Super Hard mode for generating the challenges. I mention this beforehand so there will be moderately less judging about why I gave the answer I did.

    TO was furiously drawing scenes of battle etc on the board and I in my (in)finite wisdom said “guerrilla warfare”. And had to see a teenager rolling with laughter on the floor because he understood it to be this:

    *big face palm* Homophones are such fun…