Reblogged: What You Say Vs What They Hear

I keep wondering what is it that makes my kid do the opposite of what I ask (read threaten/yell) him to do.

These are the very regular occurrences in our house:
  • Stand still gets interpreted as be anything but still.
  • Be quiet or HUSH= keep chattering incessantly.
  • Just a minute/second= I want it NOW!
  • Give me a minute to catch my breath= peppered by demands.
  • No iPad/TV = GIVE iPad/TV NOW!
  • Let’s eat dinner= I want JAMP (jam).
  • Let’s each lunch= I want chips!
  • Let’s brush your teeth= eating the toothpaste.
  • Rinse your mouth properly= water trickling out of the corners of the mouth with zero rinsing having taken place.
  • Enough ketchup= squeezing out another massive glob of it.
  • Eat properly with the spoon= eating with both hands in one go and looking absolutely simian in the process.
  • DON’T=DO
  • ENOUGH= NEVER ENOUGH
  • I’M ANGRY WITH YOU= thousands of kisses rained on my face as a bribe.
  • GO STAND IN THE CORNER= slowly inching away from the corner and smiling like an evil monkey.
  • Let’s not put the Play Doh on the sofa= rubbing it even more into the fabric.
  • Don’t write on the walls= put handprints with paint instead.
  • GO TO SLEEP= STAY UP AN EXTRA HOUR JUST TO SPITE ME.
See what I mean!
Clearly I live in the Land of Opposite and MLM is King!

About FortunateCave

Hola! am a vertically-challenged woman who's rediscovering her mojo, groove and herself post becoming a mother..I love to blog, eat and sleep and oh! MUST READ! that in a nutshell is me..add traveling and an SLR to the mix and you have an immensely happy camper!
This entry was posted in challenges, Early Blogs, home, how in the world, Learning, Life, parenting, raising kids, rants, reblogged, SAHM, what women want and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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