I keep wondering what is it that makes my kid do the opposite of what I ask (read threaten/yell) him to do.
These are the very regular occurrences in our house:
- Stand still gets interpreted as be anything but still.
- Be quiet or HUSH= keep chattering incessantly.
- Just a minute/second= I want it NOW!
- Give me a minute to catch my breath= peppered by demands.
- No iPad/TV = GIVE iPad/TV NOW!
- Let’s eat dinner= I want JAMP (jam).
- Let’s each lunch= I want chips!
- Let’s brush your teeth= eating the toothpaste.
- Rinse your mouth properly= water trickling out of the corners of the mouth with zero rinsing having taken place.
- Enough ketchup= squeezing out another massive glob of it.
- Eat properly with the spoon= eating with both hands in one go and looking absolutely simian in the process.
- ENOUGH= NEVER ENOUGH
- I’M ANGRY WITH YOU= thousands of kisses rained on my face as a bribe.
- GO STAND IN THE CORNER= slowly inching away from the corner and smiling like an evil monkey.
- Let’s not put the Play Doh on the sofa= rubbing it even more into the fabric.
- Don’t write on the walls= put handprints with paint instead.
- GO TO SLEEP= STAY UP AN EXTRA HOUR JUST TO SPITE ME.
See what I mean!
Clearly I live in the Land of Opposite and MLM is King!