Random. Structured. Haphazard. All Me.

A Tangled Yarn of Thoughts Being Unravelled…

Recent Posts

  • ReBlogged: Fee Fie Fo Fum!

    Said the giant before Jack whooped his bottom and took away his essence of being a giant altogether!

    Ok…how does that make any sense you ask? I’ll tell you…just let me spin out my tale a bit more…

    Parenting. Glorious parenting. Tis fun. Tis joyous. Brings tears to your eyes at times (for many reasons, not all of them good) but god dammit! Why does it have to be so HARD???!!!

    One mom I met a few months back at the doctor’s office said something which is SO true for most of us…we wait for our babies to talk and take their first steps and then when they achieve said milestones all we seem to be capable of telling them is SHUSH and DON’T RUN AROUND!

    If my speech was transcribed throughout the day (like a court reporter does) I have a feeling most of it would start like this (especially when taken in conjunction to my communication with MLM):

    Morning (before coffee)- moan, groan, grumble, curse (while stepping on some toy which has wheels or a part sharp enough to poke).

    Waking up MLM- (singsong) Hey Buddy..waaaaake upppp! Good morningggg! How are you todayyy? Kissy kissy, cuddley-wuddley and all that jazz.

    Getting him to brush his teeth and bathe while keeping an eye on the wall clock- To the tune of This is the Way We Go To School- this is how we brush our teeth…la la la la laaaa.
    On seeing that aforementioned teeth are not getting brushed- WOULD YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH ALREADY!! JESUS CHRIST! YOU NEED A DARN JACK TO PRISE OPEN THIS CHILD’S MOUTH! OPEN UP NOW!!! GOOD BOY…see…pretty white teeth…keep them nice and clean…STOP CHEWING ON YOUR TOOTHBRUSH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! YE GODS..I GAVE BIRTH TO A GOAT!

    And so the morning progresses.

    On the way to school we sing Eeya Eeya O!! till new requests for songs get delivered right into my ear. And then the exchange becomes like this-
    WHY ARE YOU HISSING INTO MY EAR!  NO! NO! DON’T FIDDLE WITH THE RADIO…AAARGH TURN IT DOWN..TOO LOUD..NO I DON’T WANT THE WIPERS GOING SWISH SWISH..IT’S NOT RAINING…OK FINE..NO! DON’T TOUCH THE HAZARD LIGHTS…I CAN’T SEE THE ELEPHANT IN THE CLOUD NOW I’M DRIVING! SIT DOWN NOW!!

    And so we get dropped off to school, exchange kisses and promises of being good and having fun yada yada.
    Then comes the coming back from school part- ( again imagine singsong happy-happy la-la voice…to start with): How was school? Did you have fun! What did you see? Did you eat your snacks? Wha..what…! NO NO…NO CHOCOSHOT! STOP LYING DOWN ON THE ROAD…NO KFC NOW EITHER…WOULD YOU PLEASE NOT KICK MY SEAT WHILE YOU THROW THE TANTRUM…AARGH….GOD! I MISS BEING SINGLE!!

    Then comes the bath and evening play time: (less singsong…cheer is decidedly being summoned)- Let’s go bathe and get fresh…you’re all stinky poo-poo (yes we baby talk..so shoot me!). HANG ON HANG ON…DON’T POUR MY FACE WASH INTO THE TUB..THOSE AREN’T BUBBLES…OK YES THEY ARE BUBBLES BUT NOT YOUR BUBBLES..THOSE ARE MY BUBBLES…SIGH..TAKE IT ALL…just sit down and get clean you force of nature…

    Going to the playground- Who’s going to have FUN?! YES! That’s right…10 minutes into the playtime…please share the swings…plEASE…PLEASE..WOULD YOU JUST GO PLAY ON THE SLIDES OR SOMETHING…IT’S BEEN AN HOUR AND MY HANDS ARE GOING TO FALL OFF..I’M NOT PUSHING YOU ANYMORE AND THAT’S FINAL! AM LEAVING…DON’T THINK AM BLUFFING..AM GOING…WHOA…HANG ON…DON’T RUN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION THE CAR IS THIS WAY…grumble grumble…curse curse…pine for alcohol and wish for a husband who worked from home!!

    Bed time: RINSE YOUR MOUTH. GO PEE. GET INTO BED. LET’S READ YOUR BOOKS FOR THE UPTEENTH TIME ON THE SAME PAGE, SAME LINE, SAME WORD….

    By the time the little eyes close and the HUK (hug) and kisses happen the voice is again mellow and singsong and thinking ‘ awww…isn’t he beautiful? Yeah…I can do this another day. NOT RIGHT NOW…later. much later.

  • ~Still…………~

    Another take on parenting…a funky one at that.

  • Mommyhood: Some Truths

    Any mother will eventually admit to this- they love their kids the most when the children are either asleep or doing something that doesn’t require them (the moms) to be an active participant all the time.

    See the thing with kids is this- you are doing things with them, for them, watching them do things while doing things with them or for them; you’re never really just watching them. And often when you do get the time to stop and watch them you realize that they’re grown up or a little less of the baby you knew just a few months back.

    Here’s a silly little anecdote but one that made me feel all warm and gooey inside so naturally it’s all good.

    Once we moved into the new place I realized that the toilets were higher than at the old place. MLM had to get some help to get hoisted onto the pot initially and would need to stand on tiptoes to pee. Very banal stuff right? And then I walk into the loo one morning and I realize he’s not on tiptoes anymore and can hoist himself onto the pot. Give the kid a medal! In a mom’s book that calls for an “awww my baby’s growing up”.

    We can often miss out on the subtext in day-to-day life. The stuff going on in the background and even the foreground while we’re going about with the essentials.

    What I like to do these days since MLM learnt to swing on his own is observe him and his interactions with other around him.

    I find it satisfying in a way when he doesn’t come to me with his problems but tackles them on his own because that too is a sign of independence and growing up.

    He has a funny way of referring to certain children’s’ moms as ‘Mother’. When I asked him why he was calling a particular lady as Mother since she wasn’t his mother and why not call her Aunty instead, pat came his reply- “So many aunties”. That is his to-the-point way of telling me he’s trying to keep from confusing the issue and directly addressing some kid’s mom instead of saying Aunty and having half a dozen women look at him. That he didn’t remember the lady’s name was well evidenced as well.

    But the overall dynamics are very entertaining and enlightening to observe. Just yesterday MLM told another child’s mother than her daughter was hungry and wanted to go home. Out of the blue. The child in question was happily playing around with no idea she was the topic of a conversation. Why this sudden benevolence towards a peer? Well MLM’s soon-to-be-ex-best-friend who has of late started playing with other girls and keeping him at an arm’s length was approaching the playground and my darling son decided upon a preemptive strike before he lost the battle!

    It’s amazing how these little minds work, how complex and yet simple their thought processes can be. And I get to be a spectator and take mental snapshots…all because a little boy has learnt to swing and I don’t have to give my biceps a workout anymore.

    Amen. And thank you Galactic Ameba for your benevolence.

  • A Pesky Beauty Pimp!

    This transcript has been reproduced here to my best recollection and is verbatim. And YES. It did happen. Exactly how it reads.

    Full points for persistence to the person on the other side of the phone though I’ll keep my obesity, skin problems and unwanted hair, thank you very much!

    Me: Hello.
    Customer care rep: Hello Ma’am. Am XYZ calling from LAABEL.

    Me: Which label?
    C Rep: Label kaadu. (Telugu word for ‘not this’)La Belle.

    Me: Oh. OK. Not interested. Thanks and don’t call again.
    C Rep: Listen no Ma’am. If you or friends and family are having bad skin, obesity and unwanted hair problems you can come to La Belle and get your problems solved with discounts.

    Me: HUH?!!
    C Rep: With discounts. We will help you. Are you having obesity or anything like that?

    Me: Erm…this isn’t a good time. Am not…
    C Rep: Listen no Ma’am. We will help for bridal day and self-confidence and get rid of unwanted hair. What is your location?

    Me: For unwanted hair?!! *thinking to myself that they sure get personal on these calls*
    C Rep: No… your home madam (am sure she rolled her eyes at me). Since we are having 7 locations in Hyderabad and 3 in Chennai.

    Me: Look madam, I’m not interested. Thank you for calling.
    C Rep: So which other problem are you having if you’re not having obesity, unwanted hair and skin issue?

    Me: You. PLEASE. DON’T. CALL. ME. AM. NOT. I-N-T-E-R-E-S-T-E-D.
    C Rep: OK.Thankyoufortakingoutyourvaluabletimehaveagoodday.

  • Movie Review: Gone Girl

    I don’t get to go out too often and watch movies. But when I do and it turns out to be for a movie like Gone Girl, it is totally worth it. Btw, the link contains the spoiler too, so read it only if you aren’t planning to go see the movie.

    This movie will appeal to those who enjoy good cinema and not merely look for ways to fill up and hour or so. Also, those who like their characters well-nuanced and fleshed out are in for a treat because Gillian Flynn is a woman with a diabolical mind and she unleashes that in the book and also in the screen play of this movie. The movie then becomes an extension of the book by bringing to life those scenarios one might have wondered about while reading it. The director, David Fincher and the author move in sync to make this movie the closest representation of a novel that I’ve seen in a really long time.

    Onto the actors- this movie is Rosamund Pike’s through and through! What she emotes, what she leaves unsaid, her icy cool demeanor, her scrambled desperation, her warped mind as Amy is unadulterated good acting. Entirely au naturel! The Oscar is in the bag this time. Or it should be!

    And it’s a good thing that she’s acting because the thought of this kind of sociopathic individuals out there is a bit discomforting to say the least. Especially when it is made out to be quite easy and believable.

    Ben Affleck- looks baffled. Don’t know whether he toned it down for the movie or not, but just I did not feel his intensity, his desperation let alone his angst.

    The rest of the cast, especially Neil Patrick Harris, Carrie Coon and others add the right kind of tang to the mix to bring everything to a boil; at which point Rosamund Pike picks it up again and carries it through like a trooper.

    And now is where I use the psychobabble in the review- the movie with all its made-up parts is still harshly indicting of long-term relationships that have been left to fester. Of the people in them who present a calm veneer but are raging rapids of passion be it lust, anger, aggression; inside, all bottle up and ready to spew forth in a unholy spout of venom, darkness and immorality. Dramatic aren’t I?

    The end result is a mindfuckery which will have you marveling at peoples’ talents and also at the questions of how well you know your spouse. Do you actually know them? Along with their dark places? Do their dark places resonate in you as well? And most importantly, do you want to get into their headspace and find out the answers to your questions?

    This movie isn’t for everyone. It’s not rainbows and bring sunshine. But it’s still one helluva movie!

  • Ban The Man?

    The latest news about atrocities against women has gained quite a bit of momentum. The incident happened in Hyderabad and in a hostel no less. And that’s why the decisions taken by the university management really goaded me to write; since I was a boarder in a hostel when I was at a University.

    Apparently the girl students will no longer be allowed to go to the mens’ hostel. Ponder on that for a minute. How is what even remotely a solution? Why bar the female students when there were 2 different groups involved? How is prohibiting women entry of some place, a place which they really can avoid without inconveniencing themselves I agree; without applying the same logic to the men?

    Because all throughout, in the name of keeping women safe, a section of women have had their movements restricted while the men have not had any such rules enforced on them at all.

    In my hostel we had to head back in no matter how important the work was, the minute it was 10 pm. The boys had no such rules. Or even if they did, no one made sure that it stuck.

    So while the girls had to get into a pattern of lifestyle that got cut short at 10 pm the boys roamed free and am sure a lot of them didn’t do things which would have been considered appropriate.

    So if a male is inclined to be antisocial, abusive and have any criminal tendencies or inclinations; many of the rules just close off one door for him to indulge his vices while opening another convenient one instead!

    What would have been so bad to ensure the deadlines or curfews were applied fairly to both the sexes? Isn’t it about time that the same lakshman rekha that’s drawn out for women be applied to the men as well? Not to get them to empathize but to let them know there are boundaries that can’t be crossed? That is to say if their feeble minds didn’t already clue them into that fact. But having the same rules made applicable does bring in some sense of conformity, identification and can build an adherence in time. The current method’s flaws are there for the whole world to see and judge.

    My experience has always been this- more people do stupid things the moment it becomes forbidden (and therefore tantalizing) rather than if it’s not a temptation at all. What isn’t forbidden has little charm because it can be accessed, indulged in at any time and therefore less attractive. If the girls from my hostel had been given the liberty to stay out a bit late and do a movie AND dinner in the same evening whether they were dating someone or just with friends; less girls would have been tempted to go out during broad daylight and do the nasty with totally unsuitable people just because the waves of temptation.

    Of course this isn’t to say that an individual still won’t exercise the wrong judgement even when all sorts of liberties are given to them. However, when making rules, it makes no bloody sense of have them applicable for one segment of society and not for the other. It’s Animal Farm all over again albeit with differences.

    And getting back to the alleged crime in question- I know people have to take chances and meet people, do things that they like and not become prey to mass hysteria and paranoia but for God’s sake women….THINK! We are living in times when it doesn’t take even the most decent-appearing individual to do a volte face and that too to the tune of a crime or anything heinous. Grab yourselves a safe spot and learn to look after yourselves a little bit better.

    Don’t turn into victims but be forewarned. There is too much going on around you to think you’ll be exempted from the shit. Most women have a spidersense that kicks in…don’t block yours out because it’s fashionable to do so or because it seems out of place. One day it won’t be.

     

  • The Lure Of Online Retail

    There is something fantastic about shopping! It’s akin to a discovery. No matter what you’re buying. I remember on a family trip years ago to Europe, my father was overjoyed on seeing a large, ripe, pumpkin in a supermarket where we’d gone to buy (and become disappointed yet again) water. I guess the pumpkin reminded him of the food he loves to eat and seeing it in a foreign land was quite the thrill for him.

    But getting back to shopping…it’s more than just spending money although that does become an integral part of it; but there’re a lot of sensations associated with it that elevate it to more than just a girly thing to do. Whether you possess estrogen or not, some of us like shopping for the high it gives rather than the acquisitions that are actually just the byproduct. Shopping, believe it or not, actually releases the happy chemicals that give you a high and in many cases, take your credit card to Mach speed. Shopping has been pooh-poohed as a cathartic experience but honestly speaking, those who haven’t tried it out shouldn’t knock it because the looking for something specific, finding it and being able to acquire it gives a sense of accomplishment. That kind of high stays with you and takes you through a few low spots as well.

    Personally? I love going to flea markets although in all these years I’ve gone to just one. The new-fangled flea market also called pop-up bazaars haven’t really taken my fancy because they seem to have a rehash of things from stall to stall. In a real flea market there’s no end to the kind of things people can think of selling- jams&jellies, quilts, old stuff, new stuff, really old stuff, barely new stuff and from books to bookends to spoons and tshirts…it’s ALL there!

    When Red goes abroad for his work I ask him to go down to the farmer’s market for me…not for a vicarious thrill because let’s face it, I”m not going to “get” any thrill from more than 13000 kms away. And yes, I *did* look it up. I like to know what I’m writing about. Call it one of my nicer quirks :)

    But getting back to shopping, clothes, shoes, jewellery (something I just don’t do unless it’s junk jewellery), the variety is what is so attractive. The colors, the shapes, and of course the prices. While a lot of people just love freebies, I personally love a bargain. Not the one you have to haggle over and feel like you won back the Earth from the invaders but a good bargain where you like what you see, you like the price tacked up on it and it’s something you’re actually going to use. I’m a bit of a hoarder but with a kid around, hoarding is possibly the worst thing you can go to yourself, OCD or not!

    Now traditional shopping entailed having to go out and walk up and down sidewalks and then browse around but in this day and age of parking problems, limited me-time et al, online retail is the new king in town! You can shop from comfort of your home, your bed and your loo even!

    And it feels so, so nice and comfortable. Sit on your favorite spot on your favorite couch, get your coffee/tea/alcohol (for the revenge shopping- an explanation will be forthcoming eventually in a new post) and start clicking. It’s convenience galore and that’s why it’s the new addiction. A term’s even been coined for it, well for the broader term actually viz Oniomania, and we all know it’s just a matter of time before a specific term is coined for the online aspect as well.

    But be as it may, this isn’t a post on the perils of it. Far from it. I encourage people to try it out at least once. The kind of insight I get about myself is amazing. Do you know you can be a window shopper online as well? It’s fun, it’s not harmful and it’s actually quite a distraction from the everyday humdrum.

    As long as you know that caveat emptor applies everytime and everywhere…you’re good to go!

    So log on, find out what’s new at Bergdorf, Barneys or Babyoye and maybe, just maybe cause a bit of ka-ching while you’re at it!

  • The Apartment Turns A Year Old

    We will be completing a year in the new place or in the “new house” as MLM still calls it. He’s very clear it isn’t ‘home’ but the new house but I know it’s become home for us all.

    I took the longest to settle in of the three of us. Red and the brat hit the ground running once we moved in but since the time that we decided to buy the place, get it ready to our specifications and finally move in, I guess I’ve spent the most time with the place.

    I know in which room the tile is still a wee bit loose and makes a sound when you step on it, which room of the house gives you the best view of the world outside and how utterly fantastic it feels to walk in through the front door.

    It’s not always about how much you labor towards something and then start to enjoy the result; it’s also about the things you feel when you start getting closer to the idea of you how wanted your own house or home to be. 

    MANY years ago I was having dinner at the house of a couple who lived on a high-rise overlooking either the East or Hudson river; I forget which. Their apartment wasn’t all that great, it was a typical Manhattan apartment, compact, but it had an amazing view of the skyline and the river. The terrace was huge! You could’ve rebuilt half the apartment there!  Ever since that night when I was about 12 or so I’ve known how I wanted my home to look.

    Fast forward to circa 2014 and we’re living a yuppie life with lots of trappings, fun, interesting new people who we’re getting to know better each time and the childish dream of a loft apartment keeps receding because the reality of this life is so, so, so much better.

    And we get to see these guys when it rains…Peacocks on parade

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  • Partial Year-End Review

    2014 has been an interesting year by all accounts. We settled into a new place. I screamed at people who didn’t deliver on the specified timelines. A LOT.

    We’ve seen the brat learn more and shock/surprise/amuse (take your pick) us to no end!

    We’ve caught up with family on important occasions after a long while.

    We’ve lost important people as well as gained new ones to cuddle.

    We’ve encouraged piracy (the internet kind and NOT the Somalian kind) to no end and watched enough movies to make our bespectacled eyeballs pop out.

    We’ve daydreamed some more. Found people to daydream about afresh.

    We’ve been to new places, and revisited some old ones.

    We’ve dealt with more plumbing issues than a person ought to in their life time.

    We’ve taken pictures of any damn thing that dares to move and many that don’t.

    Drank a lot of things. A lot.

    And we’ve had lots of laughs.

    And  I think that’s what’s been setting this year apart from the ones immediately preceding it…there have been so many more laughs this year that it kind of lifts it above the last few outright.

    Here’s to more good times before 1st Jan comes our way.

    Cheers.

  • Book Review: Heroes of Olympus- The Blood of Olympus

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    I prebooked the Kindle edition of way back in February and have been waiting for it ever since. The previous installments of the Heroes of Olympus were pretty great and Riordan had built up the momentum beautifully. It wasn’t as gripping as the Percy Jackson series but it was pretty damn captivating none the less.

    Anyhow moving onto the grand finale of this series…I guess I had hyped up the extent of the excitement in my own head and the book by itself fell flat. I was far more kicked about seeing the book get downloaded on my Kindle on its own rather than the actual sequence of events that unfolded.

    I will say this though- barring the Illiad no other book has ever got me this enthused about the Greek or Roman myths. Riordan brings to life the parallel universe of the Greek gods, their Roman counterparts, their foibles and their personalities in a humorous and at times emotional manner.

    This isn’t just a book for children or people who love fantasy. I would recommend this body of work to anyone who likes to sink their teeth into a great narrative punch-full of imagination, strife, romance, twists in the tale and whatnots.

    This book fell short on the following points-

    • the humor felt a bit forced and not as fluid as it normally is with Percy’s wisecracks and Leo’s overall irreverent attitude towards life.
    • the actually awakening of Gaia.
    • the interaction between the Gods and their offspring during the showdown with the giants.

    All this isn’t to say that this might not go down well with the rest of Riordan’s huge reader base out there but I guess in the balance between expectation vs reality expectation battered down reality.

    Sadly a fantastic series of books comes to an end. Awaiting the next gem from Riordan.

    Write away Mythmagic Man! Your books have provided a helluva lot of good times over the last year.