This transcript has been reproduced here to my best recollection and is verbatim. And YES. It did happen. Exactly how it reads.
Full points for persistence to the person on the other side of the phone though I’ll keep my obesity, skin problems and unwanted hair, thank you very much!
Me: Hello.
Customer care rep: Hello Ma’am. Am XYZ calling from LAABEL.
Me: Which label?
C Rep: Label kaadu. (Telugu word for ‘not this’)La Belle.
Me: Oh. OK. Not interested. Thanks and don’t call again.
C Rep: Listen no Ma’am. If you or friends and family are having bad skin, obesity and unwanted hair problems you can come to La Belle and get your problems solved with discounts.
Me: HUH?!!
C Rep: With discounts. We will help you. Are you having obesity or anything like that?
Me: Erm…this isn’t a good time. Am not…
C Rep: Listen no Ma’am. We will help for bridal day and self-confidence and get rid of unwanted hair. What is your location?
Me: For unwanted hair?!! *thinking to myself that they sure get personal on these calls*
C Rep: No… your home madam (am sure she rolled her eyes at me). Since we are having 7 locations in Hyderabad and 3 in Chennai.
Me: Look madam, I’m not interested. Thank you for calling.
C Rep: So which other problem are you having if you’re not having obesity, unwanted hair and skin issue?
Me: You. PLEASE. DON’T. CALL. ME. AM. NOT. I-N-T-E-R-E-S-T-E-D.
C Rep: OK.Thankyoufortakingoutyourvaluabletimehaveagoodday.
Random. Structured. Haphazard. All Me. 