I type this out, with the middle finger of my left hand raised and ostensibly flipping off the world at large. But that’s not so. I’m not that angsty. Or am I?
A few days ago I tried to save a silly glass from toppling over in the wind. The wind was gusty and the glass was flimsy. The breaking of the glass and my hand reaching out to save it happened simultaneously. Long story short- there was lots of blood, stitches and waiting in the emergency room, breathing in the hospital smell while the nerve that got nicked twanged on furiously. Ergo the raised middle finger that cannot bend.
I’m currently down with what’s called Neuropraxia. And Wikipedia very nicely and accurately describes it as thus, “Neurapraxia is a disorder of the peripheral nervous system in which there is a temporary loss of motor and sensory function due to blockage of nerve conduction, usually lasting an average of six to eight weeks before full recovery.”
For a person who talks with her hands as much as she does with her mouth (it’s a toss-up which one gets more weightage), it’s been VERY, VERY uncomfortable. Barring the episiotomy that I had while having T.O, I’ve never needed any surgical intervention and I was happy with that. And no…I won’t define an episiotomy! Those who know what it is are already shuddering; I don’t want the general populace cringing as well.
But back to flipping the bird. It’s not fun. It’s not remotely fun because after you exhaust all the middle finger jokes, you’re left with a finger that keeps sending electric-bolts like shocks up and down your hand and sometimes through your body; making your freeze in your tracks like an extended (and sometimes perverse) game of Statue!!
But all my bellyaching aside, it’s great to get some mobility back in the finger. And yes, I perpetually do give everyone in the vicinity ‘the bird’; whether warranted or not. Most importantly, the learning from this has been immense! Always drink whiskey. The glasses are sturdier and don’t shatter at the first contact with another object.