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Conversation At A Playground

The brat has two pals he mainly hangs out with. He’s closer to one of them and with the other, he’s not feeling the love much of late.

Yesterday while waiting for one of the favorite aunties to come down with the kite and string, the threesome were having this serious conversation:

G: Hey! Where’s your mom K? I want to fly my kite. My mumma said to wait for her.
K: I don’t know where Diana Aunty is. She probably got lost.
S: She not got lost K. She must be getting ready to come to the park.

G: K, why do you call your mumma Diana Aunty?
K: cycling fast..I call my mother Diana Aunty because that’s her name. I call your mother Rikati Aunty.
G: My mother’s name is RITIKA…not Rikati!
K: RIKATI RIKATI RIKATI!! *goes whizzing by on his cycle again*
S: MY mother’s name is Ayanti, my father’s name is Prashant. I call my mother Ayu. I call my father Prash.

G: You’re not supposed to call your mumma and papa by their name! Say mumma and papa! *with a serious look on his face*
K: RIKATI RIKATI RIKATI!!
S: AYU! PRASH! AYU! PRASH!

Me: Ok boys, enough. Let’s go fly the kites.
Boys: Ok..let’s go! With promises of how high the kites are going to fly buzzing in the background.
S: in a stage whisper to me” Ayu I want to tell you something…I gonna call you Ayu and Prash as Prash ok?”

I nod and wink in compliance while a little boy keeps cycling away singing RIKATI RIKATI and another runs after him saying stop that! She’s RI-TI-KAA!!

Ah..the things which vex us when we’re still kids:)

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A Bit Of Smugness

Since I started this blog on a lark in 2013 I’ve been quite keen to see what kind of digital footfalls I get.

Somehow seeing the list of various countries that the visitors come from really interests me and often surprises me as well. But the internet being what it is, I guess nothing should surprise anyhow at all.

So here it is- the yearly/global footfalls.

2013- started in October and generated visitors from 38 countries with 1674 views.

2014- 83 countries and a smidgen under 3000 views with 2999.

2015- 11 countries so far and 73 views so far.

Not bad for an occasional blogger.

*Does a virtual dance of joy because the neck is still frozen*

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Ask And Ye Shall Receive…

an answer, that is. It  might not be the one you wanted to hear because let’s admit it; we seldom ask questions we don’t know or want the answers to. Especially the existential kind. Even with the academic kind, we’re hoping that we don’t have to be in situations where algebraic equations or doing a syntax analysis of a “complex” sentence is a regular staple.

But we do end up asking the all important, inevitable question from time to time viz WHY ME?

And the universe answers. Even with those implicit questions which you kept inside your head and hadn’t voiced out. Take my case for example. I was planning that today, Friday, was going to be the Friday that would define how the rest of the Fridays were going to be in 2016 or at least for the first half of the year. I was going to be a human whirlwind (because the position of human hurricane has been filled for the last 5+ years by the offspring) and tackle the laundry, the linens, the stuff I’d normally hide stuff in closets and get the house tidy! T-I-D-Y. And then I was going to really enjoy the weekend because I’d earned it. Big time!

And what happens this morning? I put my back out. Just a sign from the universe that the untidiness is fated to linger a la Doris Riordan’s song of the same ilk. And here I am now. Playing my role as a ungainly combo of R2D2 and C-3PO (the chunky, rotunda of the former and the stiff, jerky movements of the latter). And that ladies and gents is our little nod to the Star Wars fever that’s taken over the world!

Anyhoo, getting back to moi…I guess I was (am) disappointed because today was going to be the day I zipped across town after getting the car back from the shop and not play the cliched role of a housewife binge-watching her favorite shows and grazing all day long. In properly-spaced intervals I mean. The grazing. Not the watching. That’s a continuous process.

And now I’m actually compelled to be stationary when I wanted to be bustling about.

So if we get back to where we started from viz the question we ask the Universe in an utterly vexed fashion, “why me?” it’s not difficult at all to imagine the universe answer in a deep voice (James Earl Jones for the majority and Kathleen Turner for the feminists among us), “why not you?”

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Movie Review: Diwale

 

It’s not the worst movie I’ve ever seen and neither will it be. Am sure I’m fated to see much, much worse.

But Dilwale was a bit loose compared to the usual Rohit Shetty fare IMHO.

And while it makes zero since to critique an out and out potboiler from Bollywood, one must undertake meaningless things in life. Why? No clue baap.

Alors!

Ok let’s start with the locales. Bulgaria? Check!! Made me want to see it once. Goa? Not so much. Not because I’ve been there before but Goa wasn’t showcased in the slightest bit. It could have been though.

Cast: SRK- you have to hand it to a guy who is 50 and manages to keep his body chiseled and hot. He hasn’t hulked up into a musclebound moron unlike some others I could mention but won’t but still. The man has *presence*. His crying scenes haven’t improved at all and he still comes across as utterly fake doing them but that jaw-clenched look of his still works. At least for me. He doesn’t smolder but he does does a sexy simmer 🙂

Kajol: I will NOT talk about the demise of the dusky skin and the near unibrow but will talk about the fact that she looked good. She is toned and does what she is supposed to do aka look in the clothes chosen for her and have good chemistry with her co-star. The dialogue delivery is fine. And let’s leave it at that.

Varun Dhawan: I had liked this guy in HSKD and thought that he could deliver consistently. But he really has very little to do in Dilwale. He doesn’t have a decent song filmed on him, neither does he have any really funny dialogues. And speaking of dialogues, VD was uttering his like he’s developmentally slow. Really.

Kriti Sanon: Why baap? They’d have been better off keeping a mannequin in her stead. Zero screen presence. Stiffness while moving around and emoting is probably she considers putting smiles in her chat texts.

Boman Irani: Wasted. Totally.

Johnny Lever: Belongs only on the so-called comedy shows on t.v. His act is hackneyed an doesn’t elicit as many laughs as a comedic role should.

Sanjay Mishra aka Oscar Bhai had some colorful and zany dialogues. I wonder what the writers smoked while writing his lines out. It really could come from those truly stoned. Not that I could vouch for something like that myself *wink wink*.

Kabir Bedi: looks plastic and barring his bassy voice brings zilch to the screen.

Vinod Khanna: is on for too little a time to make any impact.

SRK’s two goons: Did a remotely passable job of providing comic relief.

The music: Why Gerua? It is catchy but why gerua? But then again why hara or peela either so gerua gets the pass. So do Janam Janam and Daayre. But Manma Emotion Jaagey and Tukur Tukur should have been axed on the editing table without a thought. Brainless bits.

So, did I like it at all? Yes I did. Liked it. Slightly. Liked the lead pair’s chemistry. Really liked the cars they used. Didn’t mind the locales and I wasn’t tempted to walk out midway. That and the cheesy popcorn and the funny company made it a painless one-time watch. Twice would be painful.

 

 

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5 Days Into 2016

On the 4th day of 2016 my kid went back to schoooool…and a partridge in a pear tree! Not!

I couldn’t help myself…am still in holiday mode and the 12 days of Christmas is one of my favorite holiday songs along with the Carol of the Bells. But this version of the latter is one of my favorite. Metal with classic songs is a combination that usually works out well IMHO.

Anyhoo, Red is back to work as well and I have the house to myself. Am about to go and see my first movie of the year. Am sure a review will be posted soon enough.

Getting kids ready for school post a long holiday is truly a task mothers prefer not to have to tackle. Like spring cleaning. It’s an intensive undertaking. It does get done but you wish it really was a once a year kinda thing.

So we have all the tugging at the sheets, legs and arms till the child tumbles out of bed in a heap and eventually zombie walks to the loo. There the child acts totally FOTB about the concept of brushing his teeth and the brushing implements and just looks around himself with dazed wonder. Then comes the time to sit on the pot and contemplate S-L-O-W-L-YYY on the meaning of life and the mysteries of the universe.

By the time you get to the bus stop and wave the child off, you wonder why did I fret so much? It got done. But hell if it won’t happen all over again tomorrow.

And so 2016 begins to look a bit like 2015…only the fluffs and bits. The rest is still spanking new!

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Me Being Me…

I wouldn’t be who I am if I didn’t indulge in gripes about my pet peeves. So what if it’s at the start of the year? This way am getting some rants and grumbles out of my system so there’s less to spew and gnash my teeth about!

I have made a couple of decisions. Won’t call them resolutions because then it’s nearly a foregone conclusion that they’ll be deviated from sooner or later.

I am quite bugged with one of my lifelines..Amazon. I buy books from them quite often and they end up being my kid’s toy shop of choice for all the exotic variety of dragons not available in our city, nay…country! But for them to restrict the sale of certain digital media if you choose your country as India is super annoying. You get access to loads of books nonetheless. More than I could finish in this lifetime. But still! And if you do choose USA as your country then the world is your oyster but the Indian government plays spoilsport and tacks on a Swachhh Bharat tax on top of the foreign currency mark-up and what not!

Now the Swachh Bharat tax isn’t something I’m not crazy about. It might have started out with good intentions (as do most things on the road to hell am told) but levying it on all and sundry just seems bloody annoying. And pardon my French but I missed the fine print where it was notified that it would be levied on everything that generates a bill.

The last time I encountered this level of “being anal” is when the bean counters at the T.I.S.S literally tried to brainwash my colleagues and I for all the expenses we could and would encounter during our field work. Even in those small mom&pop stores where they just write down the bill for all amounts big and small. They wanted to make sure we would get the Rs.1 revenue stamp affixed on all relevant bills and then the ancient relic in the accounts office went further and said he wanted a receipt for a revenue stamp also. Yikes! The paper work was staggering…oye ve!

But that lovely little anecdote from the past aside here are some more things I have decided I’m GOING to do.

  1. Finish watching every single movie/t.v show I’ve downloaded and only keep those that I know I’ll watch again. Ergo, no hoarding the sheer “wealth” of torrents.
  2. Public a minimum of 3 blog posts every week- photography or otherwise.
  3. Use up or give away bed linen that’s been languishing in the closet because I only bring out the higher thread count ones or the ones with monkeys on them to keep the brat happy.
  4. Take more pictures and master a bit more of photo editing because that’s what makes or breaks an image.
  5. Try out one new recipe (sweet, savory anything!) a week.
  6. Try and grow taller! Psych…had you going there for a minute, didn’t I?
  7. Try and read more non-fiction because Red thinks I’m growing dumb or murderous with all the crime fiction and mythological stuff I read.
  8. Take at least 3 holidays this year and discover a new place or two. Or ten.
  9. Teach the offspring a few words of my native tongue.
  10. Keep those bleeped out words in my head and not in my mouth. Tiny ears to mouth transmission speed is shockingly good!
  11. Learn to swim with my head above water else I’ll drown if not in a pool or just keep treading water like a doofus.
  12. Publish one book digitally no matter how silly. And this one am really, really serious about.

So, 12 months and 12 non-resolutions. Doable? 2017 will tell.

Cheers!