The ODI Bloglet

India just beat England in the decider match of the ODI series. It was a couple of nailbiter moments but then India won. Red came and got me saying TO was a bit distraught. I went to the living room to see him alternatively shouting at the tv and holding his head in his hands.

He kept saying I’m so stressed out and rubbing his forehead and head. I happened to mention that the Indian captain may be a tad bit more stressed out than he was and pat came reply,” No! I’M MORE STRESSED THAN HE IS!!”

When an 11 year old starts to have a meltdown about a match with he’s not playing in, it’s time to give him a W-I-D-E berth!

MY LATEST PET PEEVE

A while back I’d written about a pigeon that had a less than satisfactory interaction with my car. The car didn’t feel too bad for sure and I felt a bit of annoyance but didn’t let it bother me much since there are way more pigeons than there are cars in this world. Or it seems to me.

A while back a flock of pigeons decided that TO’s window parapet was a good place to set up shop and play out the circle of life. They would coo to each other, mate, make a nest, lay their eggs, incubate said eggs, get hatchlings, some would die and the rest would fly off only to come back and replay the entire unchanging drama all over again.

In the process copious amounts of feathers were shed and poop was pooped. It was a not a place I was happy to call my own. We were majority hampered by the lockdown that was in place and couldn’t get a vendor to come and install pigeon nets for that area either. Over time the window ledge became guano central and had enough allergens floating around (literally) to make an allergist super-duper happy.

Let me tell you something about guano. It’s good as a fertiliser, sure, but it’s acidic in nature as well. It stinks and it’s not the most pleasing thing to set your eyes on either. It’s downright unpleasant and not something I want on my windows. And to top it all off the pigeons are no candidates for MIT since they kept doing their freaky round and round pacing even around the dead chicks and still managed to make their nests around the corpse and lay more eggs.

Facepalm GIFs | Tenor

Yesterday was another red letter day wrt said bird. One calmly sauntered, yes sauntered, into the dining room via the living room, through an open window and proceed to walk up and down the length of the hall as if it had paid the mortgage on the house. When I saw it and tried to shoo it away, it again proved how much of a brainiac it was by NOT flying through the large AND open balcony doors and out into the wide blue yonder. Instead it flew into the small kitchen and from there into the utility area outside the kitchen where we have pigeon nets to avoid the situation that was happening right then.

In due time Red, TO and our Favourite Girl#1 arrived on the scene and proceed to be unsuccessful in driving the then-panicked and still dumb bird away from the nets and towards freedom. It’s always fun being advised by a 41, 11 and 5 year old in rapid succession while I advance towards a scared bird that’s pooping all around the place where all the cleaning of the household goes on.

ᐈ Racing pigeons stock pictures, Royalty Free racing homer images |  download on Depositphotos®

Ultimately the said pigeon was captured with a sheet thrown over it and then released into sunny skies where am sure it did not head off towards safety. Knowing this particular bird, am sure it headed to the next apartment’s window and promptly started to explore how their house was set up.

Jokes apart, it is very difficult trying to get a firm grip on a squirming body. It was tough when TO was a baby who had enough mucus jammed up his nose to make me become nauseous and I had to go all octopus on him with the nasal aspirator. And it was tough yesterday with the bird with the super silky feathers and a brain that didn’t tell it to do anything but fly in circles and flap its wings uselessly.

I. Really. Don’t. Like. Pigeons.

They should confine themselves to pooping on statues, St.Mark’s Square and Trafalgar Square and just be happy. Anything more is just greedy; plain and simple!

A Day In The Life Of A S.A.H.M

Be another/a different kettle of fish | Helendipity

Being a stay at home mom is a different kettle of fish. If kettles full of fish aren’t your thing, feel free to put in a vegetarian or a vegan option if that rings your bell.

37 Stay at home mom problems ideas | mom problems, stay at home mom, mom  humor

I am, for the most part, a Stay At Home Mom. It was a decision that I made pretty willingly. Things also didn’t align in such a manner that I felt confident or comfortable enough to leave TO with any other caregiver or in a creche or daycare and hie off to work.

When the hieing off did happen, the universe conspired to have me be more grounded (the parents grounding the kids kind and not the being practical-kinds) and ultimately I circled back to home and hearth and kept my activities centered around it. The work too is something I’ve been doing while lounging in my pjs so WFH is not only a familiar concept but it’s been a way of life.

Recently TO headed back to school. It was something he was longing for. Me…not so much. I figured if he gets to ride out one whole school year at home and then starts fresh for the new academic year in school, it might be an easier transition but again, universe and child conspired to do things differently so Red and I opted for in-person schooling for TO with some riders in place wrt his and our continued safety.

Wicked Witch Of The West GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

And believe you me, within 2 days of school starting, the whining started too. Not that it ever ended properly; some of us are born whiners and continue to whine till Doomsday hits and even then, we go whining into the Great Unknown.

Barring the first two days of school where the former lump jumped out of bed, brushed, bathed and tackled his morning routine with alacrity, we were back to the “pleasantness” of an early morning routine where the mother dons on the persona of the Wicked Witch of the West and drags an innocent Dorothy, I mean TO, out from the warm comforts of his covers and into the cold, hard, unforgiving world of sunshine, cold bathroom tiles and mandated personal hygiene. I mean what could be worse?! Plenty as my kid puts it…

Top 30 Smell Armpit GIFs | Find the best GIF on Gfycat

Imagine having to bathe every day, like clockwork, before leaving the house. Because unlike over Google Meets, here people can actually smell you. And the fact that they *can* smell you is a cause for concern.

Weird and Strange Hairstyles: Oh My!!! | Hair styles, Bird nest hair, Hair  humor

Imagine having to comb your hair because again, unlike over Google Meets, they can actually see the birds nest you’re lovingly cultivating in that mess on top of your head!

Sound Of Music Lady - going commando feels great!

And the list goes on. Needing clean underwear because going commando is no longer an option or that grunting as a response will no longer be acceptable while answering the roll call…the world is full of a minefield for a kid heading back to school. And the worst of it is probably the uniforms that are collared, starched and make little hoodlums look presentable and not like they got dressed in the dark while suffering from color blindness in the process.

Today the brat got to take a day off from school to participate in a sporting event. I dropped him and his teammates to a location a bit far from home and was navigating my way back with the help of Google Maps when I realised that Ms.Google Maps Voice has a bit of an attitude. She’ll start with a nice even tone when saying “Take the next right” and if that right isn’t taken within a second of the words leaving her automated voice box, the next time she speaks to you it’s with the subtext of “take the right turn already you moron!”

Never a dull moment- that’s the crux of a S.A.H.M’s day!

Before The World Flipped Upside Down

3 friends went on a quick trip. It was an extended-weekend kind of a trip. The respective husbands were either lackadaisical of their choice of destination or pooh-poohed it outright but these three were firm on a place and there they went!

The families were semi-cautious about them traveling at a time when Covid was gradually becoming a buzzword but no one knew then what we know now how things would become. Back then it was meant to be a quick but not hurried trip, with like-minded people, to a place which has something for everyone and it was also meant to give ourselves a break from our families and day-to-day and give them a break from us in the bargain.

In a nutshell? We had a GREAT time! We walked, talked, ate well, drank in sights, admired architecture, caught up with old pals, slept in beds without any smaller bodies smooshing in with us or stealing the sheets in the middle of the night. We walked back to our accommodation after midnight; a bit wary but knowing that this is the city that never sleeps. We danced, we club-hopped. We looked for paan with a vigor bordering on the obsessive and (re)discovered a city that everyone seems to know a lot about but doesn’t always know well.

And because it was a trip where not a whole lot of expectations were pinned on, we had a better time than we expected. It was perfect in its own way. And it helped in weathering the lockdown that followed almost immediately after our return.

What’s the moral of the story? NEVER underestimate a mother’s wish to put some distance between herself and her kid(s). Albeit lovingly.