I’ve found my happy place and NO it’s NOT any place that doesn’t feature my kid! It’s getting a pedicure in a particular salon that has vibrating chairs that massage your head and back and have rainbow lights in the swirling foot bath where you soak your WEARY treads.
Why did they go the extra mile and add lights when people don’t always look down? Well because it’s pretty, silly!!
I like getting pedicures quite a bit. My feet are smallish so they are done with the exfoliating jazz pretty soon and spend more time massaging the chunky calves and soles till I feel lightheaded and quite cheery. Very soleful…excuse the pun.
Best thing about this procedure is that you have your hands free to read, text or blog, as I’m currently doing.
You don’t have to move your head this way and that while someone strips dead cells off your face or gets rid of the face fuzz that insists on taking root again and again!
The boy (since he barely looks out of his late teens) who tends to my feet usually clucks his disapproval in seeing feet he prefers seeing with some polish and soft skin, looking dowdy and not funky. He constantly tells me to moisturize and doesnt bat an eyelid when I end up taking two jazzy colors to alternate on my toenails, usually neon or just loud ones. He’s used to oddballs and their funny feet.
And now after having set me up with the colorful bubbly water and all the chisels he’ll need to get my feet human again, he sits diligently plodding away while I turn to the Heroes of Olympus-Mark of Athena.
I used to love slasher flicks while I was growing up. The gorier the better. Blood spurting out and my day was made! Ok..am not as ghoulish as that sounds but it was fun to watch…thrilling even while Michael Myers silently crept up or Jason advanced with his machete and the background score with its slightly chilling nuances…
But I grew up and the blood and gore just wasn’t fun anymore..it wasn’t even remotely scary.
A long time after that, of not being scared or even remotely rattled, I saw The Ring. And Samara…she was creepy. Not in the grotesque form she comes out from the t.v in the end but the unflinching, unblinking facade of human Samara…it was eerie and she did more for the creepy factor in the movie than anything else. The menace in her voice when she’s being interviewed by the shrinks of the asylum she’s admitted in…C-R-E-E-P-Y.
Another kid who was undoubtedly creepy and could’ve very well been the bad guy of the movie was the little kid from the same movie- Aidan. I mean what is with that frigid glance and unmodulating tone?
Let’s hark back to the good old days when the original Damien Storm made one wonder *how* such a small child could actually have been found suitable to play the role of the Antichrist…his eyes cold and features devoid of warmth. *brrr*
Last but certainly not the least- the little kid from Grudge takes the cake. The geisha-like face, eyes black like marble…Toshio is pretty freaky and has quite a a bit of startle factor!
No wonder the Jasons, Freddys and Myers have conceded their spots. The Gen-X of scarers are here to stay!
Check out this more comprehensive list of scary kids-http://www.chillertv.com/friday13/13-children-from-hell-some-literally
MLM kept tapping my face relentlessly first thing early this morning till I sleepily opened my eyes to find him mere milimeters away from me and smiling beatifically. A smiling face when am still not awake and ready to smile awakens my inner dragons. They are baby dragons when the person who wakes me up is my child. But fire breathing nonetheless.
This is how our conversation went-
Me: Why are you up? Do you want to go to the bathroom? *glances at mobile to see the time, 5:59 am*
MLM: Noooo…I want milk. Smiles
Me: *grumbling* ask Baba (Red) pleaseeee? Yeah right! High hopes..
MLM: (seriously) Baba is sleeping Ayu. Ayu is getting up.
Gaaah!! Of course I’ll get if someone does pat-a-cake to my face. Buy no one said parenting came with adequate sleep for the parents involved.
After milk&honey is handed over, in a glass color of his choice, MLM sits and happily chats away like it’s midday instead of 6 am on a Sunday!!
I tell him to have his milk and sleep for some more time and he chirps back how he wants to make triangles, dinosaurs and starts lining up his arsenal of color pencils in a row to start the attack of colors by small hands.
I give him a jumbo coloring book and snuggle back down good mood restored. 2 minutes later the face tapping starts again…
Since my posts end up being about the (crab) apple of my eye I thought why not ask around and see if I’m the only nutcase attempting to raise a child or if there are others out there who see themselves as being demonized by their children in the sanity-ebbing job known as parenting.
Here we go! Please take a few seconds (because am sure that’s all it’ll take for you to identify your very own style of dealing with your child) and go through the questions.
P.S: Why a poll and why monsters? Well…we are the bad guys when we get in their way of what they want to be doing or when we enforce things on them- like nasal aspirations, medicines, food et al.
Thought I’d find out which monsters are keeping me company out there in the parenting world. And who am I? I am a dastardly combination of a harpy and a lamia which either makes me a hamia or a larpy. Take your pick.
Let me assure you that having to eat your own words is not a culinary experience to aspire to. Nope!
Classic cases of eating one’s words that I’m pretty sure quite a few adults go through-
When I grow up I won’t talk to my kids the way my parents talk to me- Reality? We used phrases like “Because I said so!”, “We’ll see”, ” Wait till your father gets home”, “Sit straight and don’t slouch” and the list goes on.
I can’t wait to see what my baby will do next- Again reality bites hard because the same child who you couldn’t wait to see toddling and uttering his first words is now a person who flies rather than walks and can put parrots to shame with his chirping and twittering and continuous mouthing of “Why”, “Please”, “Can I”, ” Are we there yet”. And this list too is sadly unending.
I had taken the offspring to the doctor’s office today and while I was waiting there I spied a woman who looked EXHAUSTED. I thought to myself, “this woman hasn’t slept properly in a while, or had the chance to bathe leisurely and probably has a preschooler…boy.” Three for three baby!
We shared looks of commiseration and fatigue across the room and I recalled when I first saw MLM’s sonogram and thought to myself that I couldn’t wait to have a baby…yup. My words will need a lot of seasoning going down my gullet.
I’ve been late as a rule in discovering books which are part of a series and have gained a lot of popularity. I caught onto the Anne of Green Gables late (actually not really since L.M Montgomery was long dead before I was born), the Harry Potter series, the Artemis Fowl series and the latest one, Percy Jackson.
I came across the first Percy Jackson book much after I saw the trailers for Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters while waiting for another movie to start. Greek and Roman myths have always interested me and just seeing the visuals I knew the actual book would be even more exciting and it was! They all were!
It is fantasy but it is fantastically readable and it’s funny. The author Rick Riordan is a truly talented wordsmith and one who possesses a cheeky sense of humor and as it is with quite a few of the “so-called” children’s’ writers, their works are eminently readable by adults as well. And whether we all have an inner child or not, we know to appreciate wit, humor and a style of prose that appeals to us and our sensibilities.
Percy Jackson brings together adventure, glory, bravery, angst, fantasy, magic and most of entertainment.
If you aren’t a snob about reading “mainstream” writing, pick up a copy today or try out the e-book.
It’s thoroughly enjoyable down to the last word and keeps you wanting more installments of the Greek and Roman pantheons and their lore.