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A Tangled Yarn of Thoughts Being Unravelled…

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  • The Life Of An Urban Housewife

    • Get up and beat the alarm…not to death but beat it to the finish.
    • Stumble over toys and everything that should not be scattered on the floor.
    • Brush while still a zombie.
    • Use the loo and think Oh God…another day.
    • Struggle into swimsuit and go for a dip.
    • Get into pool and properly wake up.
    • Thank the heavens both kid and husband are still asleep.
    • Scramble out of pool to wake up kid and husband.
    • Walk back in wet clothes and squelching slippers because changing takes time.
    • Walk carefully into the house to not drip more water than required.
    • Wake up sleeping beauties. Loudly.
    • Jump into the shower, shampoo, dry hair, put on clothes.
    • Wake up sleeping beauties. LOUDER.
    • Tickle child awake.
    • Kick husband out of bed.
    • Alternate between cajoling and threatening child to the bathroom to brush his teeth.
    • Ultimately give child piggyback ride to bathroom and coax him to brush his damn…erm little teeth.
    • Give husband nasty looks because he’s reading sports page and not making coffee.
    • Get child to brush teeth and rinse his mouth properly.
    • Give husband nastier look and say stop acting like a slug/sloth/any other S-L-O-W moving creature.
    • Get child to dinning table and give him a glass of milk and promise yes, there’s a lot of yummy chocolate at the bottom.
    • Forgive husband while he hands you a cup of coffee.
    • Leave coffee untasted while child starts playing with cars and dinos at the table and leaves milk untouched and raise your voice to the “I’m getting angry” level.
    • Give husband the EVIL EYE when he says you shouldn’t get angry so early in the mornings.
    • Get milk into child eventually.
    • Get child into school clothes.
    • Run after him with a brush to comb his hair and put lotion on his face.
    • Kiss him goodbye and promise yourself to be a less impatient mother from now on.
    • Look at husband with benevolent eyes once he drops child off and comes back home.
    • Feel blood pressure rising when you keep talking to husband and he keeps burrowing into the same damn sports page.
    • Feel relieved when husband finally goes for his bath.
    • Feel irritation when he forgets his towel and asks you for once just as you pick up the paper. YET AGAIN.
    • Start counting to 10 when he asks if you know where his washed undies are. AGAIN.
    • Start looking for a weapon when he asks if you’ve seen his glasses. YES! Again. Every single damn day!!
    • Recite his checklist by rote and make sure he’s taken everything he needs to for work.
    • Send him off and feel love and affection flooding your heart. And relief.

    It’s 9 am. You’ve been up for 2 1/2 hours. And there’s the rest of the day to get through. And you WILL do this again. TOMORROW. THE DAY AFTER. And the day after that too.

    Thank God for predictability.

    Amen.

     

    Image courtesy- https://looktothenorth.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/human-on-hamster-wheel-2.jpg

  • Parents Vs. Kids…Tis A Losing Battle

    Ever since my kid’s been old enough to blink he’s had me in the palm of his hand. There was no one more fragile, delicate, beautiful than he. Even now, although far from being a baby, he’s still the most beautiful face I’ve beheld; in my humble opinion.

    And because he knows his power over his parents, especially moi, it often leads to tres annoying situations where I wish I could spank that bottom cherry tomato red. And then immediately feel guilty for thinking it. Aargh!

    Today’s interaction went like this. I was being stern because he’d decorated the inside of his school van with PURPLE CRAYON. Big. Long. Purple. Squiggles. Wiggles. All . Over. The. Inside. Makes my head hurt to think about it.

    The driver was understandably miffed and conveyed his miffedness to me with clipped tones and showed me my offspring’s handiwork. The culprit in question bounded from the vehicle with joy and cheer for all mankind and said big, magnanimous goodbyes all around and regally went his way home.

    Realizing after a few seconds of silence that his mother wasn’t pestering him with the usual rapidfire questions about school and what he’d eaten, the brat started an interrogation of his own. This is how our conversation went:

    MLM: Why you not talking?

    Me: I’m upset.

    MLM: Why you upset? Wha happan? (not typos, the kid talks like that).

    Me: You made a mess all over the van. That was very naughty. Poor School-Van Uncle will have to clean it all up. More work for him. That wasn’t nice at all.

    MLM: I made pretty puhple snakes!! See…they go (makes undulating gestures with hands).

    Me: You are ONLY supposed to use crayons on paper. NOT the FLOOR and not the VAN.

    MLM: You angry? (kind of tentatively asked)

    Me: Yes. I’m upset. You never listen to your mother!

    MLM: Nooo…I LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!! (protesting his innocence)

    Me: (trying to cover up my laughter in snorts..) I mean you don’t listen to ME…I’m your MOTHER, Einstein!

    MLM: You want a kiss? (puckers up)

    Me: NO I DON’T! I don’t kiss naughty boys.

    MLM: You want hug then?

    Me: Just go bathe and get that purple color off your face and hands and think about why I’m angry and what you’ve done…(steam coming out of my ears)

    And the gurgling laughter of a brat who jumped into the shower greets me while he happily sings, “London Bitch Is Falling Down”.

    You. Just. Can’t. Win.

     

  • Reflections On A Sunday…Yet Again

    After a long while I had a lot of space. A LOT. I mean driving-alone-on-a-fairly-secluded-road-with-not-too-many-people-around or too-far-behind-in the-mirror-kind-of-space. And I just took in the solitude along with the car freshner smell and realized:

    • It is SO important to have some totally, totally, totally alone time; away from social media, people and other living beings barring self.
    • Rabbi’s Tere Bin Sanu Soniya is a fantastic song to drive to at any time!
    • Nostalgia isn’t a bad thing. It’s not depressing or debilitating unless you wallow in it. Enjoy it and it uplifts.
    • I love Hyderabad.
    • I am not entirely *not* a morning person. A quasi-one I would say.
    • The Swift is a pretty neat car. Not only because my feet reach the pedals but the car sings at high speeds but doesn’t make you feel like it’s coming apart at the seams.
    • I really don’t like the vanilla aroma in my car. I prefer a more woodsy kind of smell. Out you go Ambipur Vanilla Bouquet!
    • It’s quite nice dropping people off. Welcoming them is better but even the drop off can be a journey…for me especially, so it’s all good.
    • I need to filter my mouth a bit more while alone since the “ch” sound comes out pretty frequently. Case in point- the lizard I saw scuttling across the hall got a no-holds barred CH****** from me.
    • I really have a thing for bullet points :)

    Happy Sunday Peeps!

  • Reflections On A Sunday Night

    I love Hyderabad. It’s the only place I’ve wanted to and been able to, put down roots. I thought I might have wanted to live in a few other places over the years, but this is the place where my wandering finally stopped.

    Been here over 10 years now and this place is home although I’ve yet to see, experience and get to know much more of it.

    Our apartment has a utility area where my dish washing takes place. The place is in a corner and gets a helluva lot of breeze. I actually don’t mind washing the dishes the day the help doesn’t come in. During the day I get to see the birds fly by, occasionally hear the peacocks and frogs (monsoon season though) and during the nights, the breeze, the twinkling stars…erm the lights of the city made hazy with the smog make for quite a romantic ambiance in my mind.

    Tonight it was even more so. It’s lightly drizzling now and the wind kept whipping the water droplets onto my face while I scrubbed the grease off the utensils and stacked them up for tomorrow’s wash. My part of the town is rather dark now with the lights having gone out quite some time back and the office buildings appearing like silhouettes in the distance, with the dim reflections of the lights thrown on them. It’s not dreary although it is dark…it’s actually quite lovely in its own way.

    While I romanticize with my dish pan hands, my brat sleeps next to me with his mouth slightly open, giving him a really goofy but placid look. My husband is no doubt looking at geeky stuff on his tablet while he blows on his Maggi to cool it down and I’m sitting in my room with a smile on my face because life is just SO nice right now.

    Good night all :)

  • Mirthful Mondays

    Who said Mondays are all about moaning and groaning about the weekend ending? Well..I haven’t said it yet. But the day’s young and my kid will be back from school in a few hours so I have time to make up my quota of Monday moans.

    In the interim, here are some funnies that I got as an email forward. Pretty funny truth be told. Not all of it. Just bits and pieces. Just like Mondays.

    Enjoy the chuckles!

    1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

    2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

    3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

    4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

    5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

    6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

    7. The patient refused autopsy. ( Say what?)

    8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

    9. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

    10. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

    11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

    12. She is numb from her toes down.

    13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. (I would like to see that process of x-rating!)

    14. The skin was moist and dry.

    15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

    16. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce. (Amen.)

    17. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

    18. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. (Cannot get over this one. Is it with the tent or without?)

    19. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

    20. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

    21. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

    22. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. (LOVE this!)

  • Movie Reco: The Godfather

    My whole family’s been under the weather after the offspring got a bug back from school. With long periods of imposed bedrest there’s hardly any time before your mind commands you to watch a movie, or 3. Well in my case no movie is ever watchable at a stretch when my kid is around, so with all the breaks accounted for; one movie goes for at least a day or 2.

    Anyhow, from the depths of my fevered brain, some voice kept throwing up movie recommendations and one name kept resounding louder than the others. Well more than the name it was the theme music that kept resounding. And while that may be schizophrenic at some level it still was THE GODFATHER!

    Now I haven’t watched this movie in years but it just really hit the spot this time. James Caan, Al Pacino, Robert Duvall…it really doesn’t get any better. That it’s a bit slow-moving was discounted since my days were moving at the speed of molasses anyhow.

    Here are some of my favorite quotes from the Godfather-

    “Don Corleone: I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

    “Sonny: What the hell is this?

    Peter Clemenza: It’s a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.”

    “Michael: [coldly] Fredo, you’re my older brother, and I love you. But don’t ever take sides with anyone against the Family again. Ever.”

    “Michael: [Confronting Carlo over Sonny’s death] Today, I settle all family business, so don’t tell me you’re innocent, Carlo. Admit what you did. Get him a drink. Come on, don’t be afraid, Carlo. Come on, you think I’d make my sister a widow. I’m Godfather to your son, Carlo. Go ahead drink. Now Carlo, you’re out of the family business, that’s your punishment. We’re finished. I’m putting you on a plane to Vegas. I want you to stay there, understand? Only, don’t tell me you’re innocent, because it insults my intelligence. It makes me very angry. Now who approached you? Tattaglia or Barzini?”

    “Tom, don’t let anybody kid you. It’s all personal, every bit of business. Every piece of shit every man has to eat every day of his life is personal. They call it business. OK. But it’s personal as hell. You know where I learned that from? The Don. My old man. The Godfather. If a bolt of lightning hit a friend of his the old man would take it personal. He took my going into the Marines personal. That’s what makes him great. The Great Don. He takes everything personal Like God. He knows every feather that falls from the tail of a sparrow or however the hell it goes? Right? And you know something? Accidents don’t happen to people who take accidents as a personal insult.”

    “Michael:  What’s the matter? What’s bothering you? I’ll handle it. I told you I can handle it, I’ll handle it.Don Corleone:  I knew that Santino was gonna have to go through all this, and Fredo, well, Fredo was well, but I never – I never wanted this for you. I worked my whole life, I don’t apologize, to take care of my family. And I refused to be a fool dancing on a string held by all of those big shots. I don’t apologize, that’s my life, but I thought that when it was your time, that you would be the one to hold the strings. Senator Corleone. Governor Corleone. Somethin’.Michael: Another pezzonovante .Don Corleone: Well, there wasn’t enough time, Michael. Wasn’t enough time.Michael: We’ll get there, Pop. We’ll get there.Don Corleone: Uh. Now listen, whoever comes to you with this Barzini meeting, he’s the traitor. Don’t forget that.

    Salut.

  • A Tryst With Disenchantment

    I have never had as much exposure to any other language as I have with English. Whether it be the Indian variety or the Queen’s. There are words which help capture your moods, your thoughts, the intangibles, the indecipherable and what not! English also lets you coin new terms and that particular term is called a neologism. Fantastic, ain’t it?

    One of those words which have intrigued me from time to time is “disenchantment“. Websters (my favorite lexicon) defines it as “a feeling of disappointment about someone or something you previously respected or admired; disillusionment.” To enchant means “to attract and hold the attention of (someone) by being interesting, pretty, etc. Also to put a magic spell on (someone or something)”

    So disenchantment could simply be put as the state when the magic’s all gone.

    There’s a kind of magic that imbues life. It doesn’t come out of Hogwarts or fairy tales but it exists in life nonetheless. It comes to us when we are flush with the happiness of something or someone; in a state in life when things are not just rosy they are effervescent, vibrant and uplifting in themselves.

    When this magic with something dissipates, you often see it for what is actually is or what it has become and it no longer holds an allure. It may be that the scales have dropped from your eyes or something to that effect but it no longer calls you, has a hold on you as it were.

    With people, being disenchanted takes on a different form. You go from being deeply involved, invested in their wellness, welfare to being either dismissive or simply non-caring. You just stop caring point-blank what happens with them, to them around them. THEM. In toto. That is not to say that you wish them ill. Just the opposite. You cease to have any thought of any kind for that individual. You can summon some fragments of emotion for them if a situation arises that requires you to respond but beyond that, there’s nothing.

    It can be surprising that things that filled you with joy, people who added so much substance to your life suddenly just cease to signify anything at all. But it can and does happen. The human mind is full of surprises and is very receptive to fluctuating levels of magic in our lives. The magic knows it’s waning or dawning much before we become aware of it.

    Here’s to remaining enchanted, always.

  • Reblogged: Dented

    dented http://bouncyrambler.blogspot.com/2008/04/dented.html

  • Reblogged

    sticky fingers and unstuck head http://bouncyrambler.blogspot.com/2008/04/sticky-fingers-and-unstuck-head.html

  • The Importance Of Dumb Stuff In Life

    We all like to be productive. Some of us genuinely so and many of us who just like to feel like we did something worthwhile instead of just idled our time away. Because even when you idle your time away, it needs to be for an optimum amount. Else you get bored with idling and then there’s REALLY nothing for you to do since if you aren’t idling you have to be doing SOMETHING. And you were idling because there was NOTHING to do.

    Yes. A real conundrum. But be as that may, the idea is to find something that gives you the feel of engaging in an activity without making you feel like you’re doing something. Because that would signify being active wouldn’t it?

    That’s where watching dumb movies comes in. It’s so mindless, there’s no palpable suspense or acting to look forward to. It’s a foregone conclusion that the movie will not be making it to the Oscars or even leave any sort of imprint on you except maybe to help you pass a boring time of day; hopefully even lulling you to sleep if you’re lucky enough.

    I don’t always have a lot of time on my hands but I do get bored quite a bit since my near-constant companion is almost 30 years younger than I am and we don’t always define “fun” the same way each time.

    When I do have the time to myself where I know that pursuing an activity I really want to do won’t be viable I fall back on the dumbest of the dumb (movies that is) because you can (and often do have to) leave it midway without even sparing a thought about what’s happen next.

    For those of you who do find yourselves in similar situations here’s a list of movies you can turn to to help abate the boredom. This list is merely a suggestion and nothing more. For those whose boredom gets exacerbated due to it, my apologies and I’ll emphasize caveat emptor very strongly.

    On we go-

    • Ghost Shark– A MUST watch. It’s quite funny actually without being terribly gory and it’s a novel concept in itself which saves it from being run-of-the-mill; a double whammy if there ever was one.
    • Teeth– Not really the black comedy it was marketed to be. It wasn’t funny at all but the idea behind it was interesting, for lack of a better word.
    • White Chicks– the movie needs no explanation at all once its known it’s by the Wayan brothers so..nuff said.
    • The Scary Movie franchise. Parodies have never been more crass but hey boredom is a bitch too.
    • A rehash of any movie you’ve watched so many times that you can keep playing it in your head even if the lights go off.

    If all else fails, just sit quietly for 2 minutes for chances are if you’re a woman, someone will yell out/ whine about something they want you to do.