This morning started off as most mornings do these days…quietly. Spoke to the bestie who’s doing her own lockdown in a different continent and waited for the calm of the morning to be broken once TO got up. And it did.

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Excuse the segue here but I fail to understand how people can say “bachchey bhagwaan ka roop hotey hain” aka children are form of the Divine. I may shuttle between being an agnostic and an atheist but even I know there’s no God in the history of Gods that like to commune with His/Her devotees while they’re in the loo! Or one who pouts when junk food is taken off the menu. OR one who keeps whining about the Netflix account being unavailable. Or one who has to be put on a timeout for being a pain in the posterior. None of that smacks of being omniscient or omnipotent!

Be as that may, this is how my day’s been so far: started on dishes a bit early in the day so there wouldn’t be too many of them after making lunch. I’d have been done half an hour earlier than I did only because there was a persistent tap on my shoulder every few minutes to ask what a small hooman should be doing right then.

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First I sent him to make the beds. He did. After being told 5xs. Then he wanted me to come a see something weird he found in one of the bathrooms. It wasn’t weird at all. But he still called me. Then I asked him to sort the laundry. He did. By dumping stuff from all the hampers in the middle of the dining room. When I asked him to S-O-R-T it out. He just made three different piles, again in the middle of the room. Right where we’d walk from.

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His response to my, “Did you think I wanted you to dump everything in the middle of the floor?” was, “You didn’t want me to dump it all on the floor?” Because hey! that’s the reply that makes the most sense. And to do it all when I have a knife in my hand is just pushing buttons that ought *never* be pushed.

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Final snark from me before I stomped away to do the laundry was a disdainful look at the avoiding-my-eyes-husband and saying, “And you wanted TWO kids! Hmphff!!”