The Magic Of the Indian Autos

It suddenly occured to me, after I took three autos in the course of the same day, that Indian autos are quite like the Knight Bus from the Harry Potter stories.

And while I am yet to meet a Stan Shunpike, the magic I think, is in the ways Indian autos manage to wriggle in and out of the narrowest of spaces, defying the laws of physics and make their way to their destination. You might leave your stomach behind on one of those rides but the magic is undeniable.

Add to that, their choice of ads, slogans on the back of the auto is often an experience in itself. Ranging from hilarious typos to the utterly profound; they add to the vibe of the auto as much as the person driving it.

Imagine a scenario where there’s a sea of red…red from rear lights of the cars, the brake lights are on as well, the red traffic light is slowly making its way to green and you are stuck behind this honking, beeping, cursing behemoth aka a traffic jam.

In the midst of it all, an autorickshaw appears like an avenging angel or bat out of hell; take your pick. With one wheel in the air, and another 2 half on the sidewalk and half off it, the auto driver makes his way in the midst of the madding crowd. That the crowd doesn’t part before him like the Red Sea is immaterial. He will make his way through the crowd one way or another!

While he’s powering through, he’s listening to music loudly on speakers which are scratchy, also booking future passengers simultaneously. And in order to ensure he doesn’t break all of the traffic rules; sticking his leg out to signal a turn.

Almost every instance of road rage I’ve had has been courtesy a tussle with an autowallah. Either I’ve been sitting in the auto and telling him that I have parents I need to get home to or a husband and child who need me so he should slow the f*** down! I’ve also been know to argue with them if they’ve cut me off, nearly nicked my car or just behaved like a giant moron by putting on their turn signal and going the complete opposite way instead.

Half the “bad” words TO has in his vocabulary is due to his mother’s interaction with the autos and their mahouts. But such is life when you tangle with the magical autos that rule the Indian roads. Because like them or not, we can’t seem to do without them one bit!