With Divine Sanction

I tend to be a wee bit foul-mouthed while driving. And rash people on two-wheelers annoy the crap out of me! They try to squeeze through miniscule spaces a dog would hesitate to pass through, just so they can be first in line or be the first off the starting line with the rest of the imbeciles who keep revving their bikes during a three minute red light halt.

I mean what is up with that?? Why keep burning fuel for so long and act like Mad Max when you’ll just be stuck behind the cement mixer along with the rest of us just 2 kms down the road?!

Yesterday when a prime example of an imbecile scraped against my car and sped off, I mouthed certain profanities that am not proud of. And an unlikely champion piped up from the backseat! This is how the conversation went.

“GOOD JOB Ayu!! That guy is a a******! (With me mentally correcting the grammar and going Crap…I did it again). God made parents to be tough. You have to be mean and protect your kids from bad people who drive like a******s. You did the right thing Ayu!!”

“NO BABY…I shouldn’t have said a bad word in front of you. I was angry and I apologize.”

“That’s ok Ayu. Moms can say a******* when someone is trying to hurt their kids by driving bad. And what’s a h******** (Hindi word casting aspersions at someone’s parentage)?”

Oh Fudge me!! Who ever thought absolution for cursing would come from a nine year old, channeling fire and brimstone Old Testament style?

On the flip side, there’s going to be an earful from the husband once the husband reads this.

*Runs and hides*

Mens Vs. Women: The Eternal Conundrum

OK people, be prepared for an out and out rant today. There’s a global phenomenon that men laugh and also mutter oaths about- The Woman Driver. The way this paragon of road (un)worthiness is portrayed you’d think she was a combination of a sloth or a slug who was inching forward in traffic while other people were aging in the process, or she was a hurricane on wheels; blowing away everyone in her path and piling up a huge body count in the process.

Now the question demands to be asked- Why am I ranting this fine, breezy morning instead of celebrating my rare and soon-to-be finished hours of me-time? Well I met the other half of the paragon viz The Male Driver.

While dropping MLM to school this morning I came across some beautiful examples of flagrant disregard for traffic rules, human and animal life to boot! And it’s not merely the speed demons on bikes or the vans bearing goods that indulged in such displays…it was nothing less than a Beemer…so you see, we have classy people getting into the act as well!

I have sadly come across too many people who sneer at women drivers, my husband unfortunately falls into these ranks despite him knowing better and ideally fearing for his life. But I fail to understand why a man’s gender isn’t singled out when he makes driving booboos. Do we women possess some kind of mutated driving chromosomes which make us “inept” or unsavvy drivers?

If we’re pointing fingers lets do it collectively at a group of incompetent or rash drivers overall. Why drag the gender bit into it? Because let’s face it, there are WAY many more males driving globally and getting into 7-car pile-ups or even ending up on car chases with cops than females from the look of it. So either those people are all cross-dressing men or maybe men too come into their fair share of driving  no-nos.

As for the argument of men being from Mars and women from Venus- just remember that in the end we’re all aliens under the same sun!

Here endeth the lesson.

image courtesy-http://forums.heroesofnewerth.com/
image courtesy-http://forums.heroesofnewerth.com/