Turbulent Toosdays

We’ve been having slightly wonky weather here. It’s rainy and overcast one minute but suddenly bright rays of sunshine will burst through the clouds and blind us all.

TO has been slightly under the weather. His usual scheduled spell of cough-cold-almost-guaranteed throat infection during the monsoons is slightly delayed this year but it’s finally made an appearance.

He’s been home since Monday and my good cop’s taken a hike and left the bad cop on indefinite duty.

This morning after meeting our family physician, I told TO that he’s not really sick so he should get cracking with his chores and not spend the whole day whining about screentime.

The love of my life, flesh of my flesh did his chores…with aplomb! He made his bed by folding the bedcover in halves like a door. And he proclaimed it was a coffin. For ME.

I told Red that I’d need a lot of alcohol to get through today. Or maybe a Valium. It’s all the same when your kid prepares a coffin for you with glee and adoration.

Cough. Sniffle. Sneeze.

That word conjures up many fine images am sure. But for a mother the word has only one meaning- you are stuck good and proper! Say goodbye to the life you knew till the universe rights itself aka the flesh-n-blood goes back to school.

I firmly believe in this notion- either your kid shouldn’t get sick at all (which is the most preferred option) or they should get sick enough to merit keeping their tiny butts in bed till they are better. Period.

This business of being half-assed sick where one has enough energy to run around, be underfoot, cranky because they have a bug in their body, but definitely not well enough to go to school; doesn’t sit well with me. Nope!

Am not advocating that a kid be sick, mind you. But it’s SO annoying to remind them to use the tissue and not their sleeves when wiping snot 15,000,000 times a day, taking their temperature the minute their eyes glaze over and have to go into octopus mode to get a temperature reading which ends up being inaccurate because the brat squirmed like a worm and the thermometer couldn’t detect the right temp.
And while on the topic of thermometer, which brilliant person decided to put mercury in thermometers anyhow. I can’t read that shit! It’s all a bunch of lines. Faint ones at that. Bold. Underline and Italicize people!!

Do I need to go on? Bottom line? Kids have no business getting sick! It’s extremely hazardous on their parents’  (mothers…only mothers) health, nerves and disturbs their chi big time. It usually needs a couple of restorative drams of “big peoples’ medicine” to get them all bright and shiny again. Oh..not the kids. They get cherry-flavored meds…we get oak-cured, 12-years aged umm..syrups. Yeah…that’s it.


Dealing With A Sick Kid

This is how a day with a kid who’s home sick is likely to go:

Teeth gnashing. Foot stomping. Angst. Frustration. Sleepiness. Annoyance. Howls. Ire. Pouting. Sulking. Swearing (albeit mildly). Refusing to eat. Looking at the world with a jaundiced eye. Growls. Snarls. Roars. Miffed murmurs. And that’s all you.

What does the kid do?

“Hey…can I watch tv/ Dragons of Berk/ Boovs/ Spiderman/ Hulk?” punctuated with coughs, sneezes and phlegm.


P.S: What is the deal with not knowing how to blow the nose anyhow? grrr