Movie Review: Luka Chuppi

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What happens when you don’t want to get married but test drive being married by living together? What happens when you get caught being ‘pretend-married’ and have to play out the pretense? What happens when you try to get married for real to make things legit but realize that life is conspiring against you? Luka Chuppi happens. But it doesn’t happen all that well, unfortunately.

Set against the backdrop of militant love jihadis who are hellbent on making sure that every relationship kowtows to societal norms and any deviations are dealt with harshly; Luka Chuppi takes on a rather contrived and elaborate path towards a happily ever after.

Kriti Sanon is a little too well put together to be convincing as a small town girl. Her body language, mannerisms always bring to mind airline attendants who wish you a pleasant flight or people in the hospitality business who smile as they give you your room key and wish you a very pleasant stay. Rather fakeish.

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Kartik Aaryan is a bit more believable but not much. He’s scruffy and has hair (along with Aparshakti Khurana) that’s reminiscent of the scene from There’s Something About Mary.

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Apart from a few genuine laughs sporadically sprinkled here and there, the movie goes from one choreographed mishap to another. The rest of the cast however, is pretty damn good. They’re convincing small towners and never deviate from being in character. Vinay Pathak, Aparshakti Khurana, Pankaj Tripathi, Alka Amin, Atul Shrivastav bring a strong, wholesome and realistic small town flavor to the movie and are the glue that holds things together. Guddu (Aaryan) and Rashmi (Sanon) are effectively the leads but they are far more accurately described as props.

The OST is nothing outstanding either with 2 songs repackaged from an earlier era.

This movie is worth waiting for…till it airs on Netflix on Amazon Prime. It’s no barrel of laughs but is entertaining in its own smallish way.

Rating: 1/5

 

Movie Review: Wonder Woman

I’m going to lead with: my experience wasn’t wondrous at all.

I have a bad habit of reading the Wiki and IMDB posts thoroughly before watching a movie, rather than just going with the flow where most movies are concerned. When I read that Wonder Woman received critical acclaim as well as mass approval, my curiosity was stoked because my benchmark of superhero movies was done solely by the first Avengers roll out. And that’s a movie I can watch (and do) again and again.

So what can I say about Wonder Woman? Well…those were 2 hours of my life I’ll never get back. *wipes tears surreptitiously* Let’s list it’s less than stellar qualities, shall we?

  • Chris Pine hasn’t been eye-candy material since The Princess Diary days. He’s adequate in this movie. Nuff said.
  • Gal Gadot- I wouldn’t have picked her in the role of a Amazon…she looks too confused about the world around her; constantly! And has a case of botoxy lips which never seem to close…giving her a perpetual perplexed-fish look. That was an alliterative mouthful, wasn’t it?
  • Robin Wright Penn- gone before she could do anything.
  • Zeus&Ares- better depicted in the Percy Jackson series. A washout here.
  • Danny Huston- had more screen time in Wolverine and a better role too.
  • The aura of the guy in the role of the God of War needs to be spot on. David Thewlis…naah…he didn’t do it for me.

The intent here isn’t to trash the movie. It was adequate as a one-off watch. I guess I have issues with it being promoted more as a movie about a woman, made by a woman. Even if it is path breaking in that sense, it’s still boring. And that’s wherein lies the rub! It’s not interesting and I watch all sorts of crap that’s out there even sampling the tripe called the Sharkansas Womens Prison Massacre.

Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman doesn’t possess enough of a personality to be captivating. Gal Gadot as an actor needs to emote more and look beyond eyebrow twitches in lieu of acting. Give me the Black Widow with the deadpan and her kickass moves.

Rating: 2/5

 

 

Movie Review: Get Hard

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I seldom get around to watching new movies while they are still new. But atleast I got to this movie before a new calendar year started. And why is that important? Because I laughed until I wheezed, gasped and cried after a really, really long time. And that, in my book, is priceless!

So the movie is hilarious you ask? Not really. Not by a long stretch but it has its moment.

Here’s what it’s all about. Will Ferrell is a typical Bel-Air WASP, money-man with a ton of superficialities. He’s a stock broker with the magic touch and stereotypical rich white guy’s life aka the Benz and Beemer and a host of Hispanic staff pruning his lawns and cleaning his house. He works in a white firm, has a white girlfriend and all white associates.

And when trouble hits him hard, he falls back on his ignorant stereotypical mindset: that most blacks have gone to jail and are therefore are hardasses who can teach him to be a little less…wussy. So pleads with the one black person he sees on a regular basis, Kevin Hart, and asks him to get him HARD! The rest of the movie is all about Hart teaching Ferrell the ground realities about prison life and how Ferrell jumps through hoops to be a tougher man and not have to resort to be some giant’s bitch in prison.

It’s a buddy movie with Hart’s impersonations of the ethnic groups in a jail yard and Ferrell’s trash talking soliloquy being the standout points in an otherwise cliched movie. It’s not entirely Trading Places but it has some similarities.

All in all, it’s a one time watch only for the flashes of what make Hart and Ferrell the kind of comic performers they are. The rest of the movie is all about predictable comic sequences that will still get some smiles out of you. In the end, the two become pals and overcome their class, social hangups because they GOT HARD!

Rating- 1 1/2 *