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Genesis 3:19…Kinda

The saying goes like this, “By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground   since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.

But for an overweight, brand new gym-goer it kinda goes like this-” The sweat of your brow shall drip in your eyes, burning them while you blindly stumble around thinking, “Why hast Thou forsaken me Oh Lord?!!”

But fear not…for there light at the end of the tunnel! It is damnation (in the form of box-squats, sit-ups, frog-stretches) but with relief and because God rested on the seventh day; so shall you.

Amen.

P.S: This is an exercise in creative writing and being tongue-in-cheeky. No religions were harmed in the writing of this blog post so in the name of the exercise mat, the barbells and the treadmill do send slimnesss and lard-free bodies unto us. 

A-M-E-N!!

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Snake, Rattle&Roll

By now everyone would have realized that I pun and desperately so. It’s almost my calling card in my blog posts. Titles especially.

So to jump to the topic, my kid is into Nature. Likes some parts of it even more and absolutely j’adores bits of it. And those bits are far-flung, disjointed and only he knows why certain things send him into raptures.

Our old printer was on its last legs, cartridge, carriage…you get the gist; so another one came and took its place. And Red being Mr.Technologically-Advanced wanted a wireless printer. So we got one. 

So now the situation is like this- MLM will pick up my phone after switching on the printer and making sure there are REAMS of paper in it, and simply command me-GIVE ME A PRINT OUT.
And his litany will begin-

  • Secretary Bird (no short necks only long-necked ones)
  • Gila Monster.
  • Komodo Dragon
  • King Cobra (proper one not cartoonish, cutesy snakes)
  • Alligators AND Crocodiles- because yeah, like he knows the difference between the two.
  • Leatherback turtle
  • Vampire Squid
  • Armadillos

And the list goes on. And as each page rolls out his eyes turn bright and he rubs his hands in glee and hisses in my ear, “Give me birdsss of prey Ayuuu.” I swear it’s like having your own personal Smeagol leering at its Precious! 

For those who glossed over that reference-watch LOTR ok? You can’t miss out on Smeagol and his Precioussss. Half the memes on the internet have to do with those two.

So after condors, peregrine falcons and vultures flew out of the printer and we called it a day, the hissing ceased and Gollum..I mean MLM went his merry way with his printouts.

A new day. A new pet peeve for me. Life is just full of opportunities!