Movie Review: Meg 2- The Trench

I kept thinking of scathing ways to start off this review when all that comes to mind is, “Don’t watch it“. This movie was made for reasons only to known to the producer; actually scratch that, the previous one made money at the box office ergo a sequel had to be made.

I love creature movies. I love sharks. I even sat through the Sharknado series till my brain shut down and with this movie my brain never engaged right from the time TO and I saw the trailers while at the movies throughout this past summer. While I’m not entirely sure what is worse- the storyline or the wooden-faced actors, the former might win because it’s so bizarrely woven that you find yourself in a facepalm position the whole time.

Imagine this- Jonas is now a high seas vigilante who is on the tail of toxic-chemical-dumping bad guys. He is with an organisation which is doing deep sea explorations (again). The son of the previous CEO of the deep sea explorations done in The Meg is now part of the story. He of the dubious clicker which apparently has trained a meg from the time it was a pup, to approach and go away without killing. Yay. Nobel Prize time.

Anyhoo, illegal sea mining activities create a rift in the thermocline which was holding back deep sea terrors in the trench and 3 megs and what can only be called the kraken, escape and head for a place called “Fun Island” which is essentially meant to be a sea monster ‘eat-all-you-can’.

Jonas, new CEO, Mac and DJ and a new token female character along with a disobedient teen fob off shark attacks, tentacle tickling by said kraken and survive while taking out the bad guys and not losing any body parts in the process.

The characterisations are pathetic as is the script. Statham and his costars occupy the entire run time of 1 hour and 56 minutes of what can only be called Purgatory for anyone who isn’t a muppet. Given that TO enjoyed the heck out of the movie, the evidence points at him being a muppet as well. I’m still wondering why Steve Alten signs off on these travesties given how well his books are written. Oh wait…$$$

Bottom line: People around the globe should take the money they might have spent on the movie and resulting snacks into doing refresher courses for the script writers and the actors about the basics of their respective jobs.