…

I was and am stuck for a title for this post. That hardly ever happens. And when it does happen in other aspects of my life, it usually pertains to Red.

He of the stoic countenance and endless source of hidden snark; delivered with such a matter-of-fact tone that one will rarely doubt the veracity of the words.

To get to the heart of what happened, a bit of a back story is needed. Of late, we have embraced greenness in our lives and are trying very hard to keep our plants alive. We don’t pride ourselves as plant killers per se, but pretty much only the sturdiest of the sturdy seem to survive in our homestead. The color of the thumb is less green and edging towards yellow.

So, Red has taken over the charge of keeping the green ones alive while I keep him and TO alive; an apt division of labor if there ever was one. And he chose to plant two creepers together in the same pot. They were growing well and not too rapidly so we could gauge their growth before separating them if need be.

I chose to separate them when I couldn’t unentangle them and had the creeper with the thicker, sturdier vine moved to another pot in another location. All with the blessings of our gardener who excels in nodding his head whenever I ask him something mainly because he and I don’t have a single language we’re both fluent in with each other. Anyhoo, he didn’t shake his head when I asked him to separate the two plants and it seemed to be working for a bit, till it didn’t.

We moved the thicker fellow back towards the original place once the leaves no longer looked as bright but kept it separate from the earlier neighbor, who still is thriving *knocks wood*, but the leaves have now drooped further and the vine seems discolored.

Now comes the zinger- this morning Red was having his coffee in his office and when I went and observed that the plant looked like it wasn’t going to survive. Pat came the reply, “That’s because you’re like Trump.” This had the efffect of making me stand there silently and doing my best goldfish impression -gormless and opening and closing mouth silently. Red continued: “You had to be like ICE and separate anything that doesn’t look like it belongs!“

And there you have it ladies and gentleman, I am not only the MAGA girl (yeah this is another story) but I am also Trump’s storm trooper aka ICE aka killer-separator of plants and all-around bad guy.

TGIF!