Everywhere I look, I sit the offspring’s presence prevails.
The jar of Gummybears are usually within hand’s reach although with the child-proof caps it’s still a bit in our control when we want to hand the bears over.
There are clothes clips on the futon, tigers and lions (figures) under the sofa cushions and Play Doh and khakhra crumbs all along the path he’s taken through the house. Very Hansel and Gretel and one can guess who the witch in this story is too 🙂
Point is- kids take over your life in toto! And when they sleep you reclaim it and the house which has their artwork all over the walls instead of the nice designs you and your husband picked out as newlyweds.
But then again they surprise you in the MOST UNEXPECTED manner. After a terribly taxing day when you’ve restrained yourself from leaving them on some unsuspecting person’s doorstep they turn to you and execute a deep bow and say Thank You Very Much Ayu in the cutest manner ever and all’s forgiven till the next transgression.
Damn! Check and mate to the offspring. Mommy’s still figuring out her opening gambit!
MLM and I have been engaging in lots of verbal skirmishes of late. I’ve been on the losing side I’m not ashamed to say. It’s the truth. Anyone who has kids knows that they (the offspring) always win. Till they go off to college. Then we win. And keep winning because there is some role-reversal that happens and they don on a lot of the roles previously taken on only by us.
I’m so eagerly awaiting MLM’s kids. I know they’ll be all he is and MORE and I’ll be cackling away to glory from either up there or down there. Down there is more likely. But I digress…this is what happened today. And it’s just the tip of the iceberg of the stuff that regularly happens.
I was pottering around and adding things to the laundry basket when I heard a door opening, Knowing MLM I thought he was trying to access the front door or a loo. It was the loo. Within 2 seconds of entering the bathroom he’s naked as the day he was born and in a meditative pose on the commode.
When I asked him why he was naked since potty training has been done and dusted a while back, he said his clothes were dirty. I had seen his clothes a few minutes back and they seemed fine to me. Nothing filthy. So I asked him how did they get dirty. To which he promptly replied, “I do it! You go wash clothes now. I give my clothes. ” and smiles beatifically.
When I stared at him, giving him my Look Of Shame, he shuffles his toes and says,” I put on clothes, it’s cold Ayu”.
You just can’t win. They have you surrounded on all sides and don’t they just know it!
I say Mini Me because till now NO ONE has said that MLM is anything like Red. I alone see the similarities and point them out which I know makes Red happy. Who doesn’t want to be told that a once-cherubic and now-impish child with beautiful long lashes, a gurgling laughter and the cutest pout ever, is like his dear ol’ dad!
Anyhow, don’t let the cuteness thing fool you, this child has his wits about him plenty and uses them to get into messes that are anything BUT cute and divert my attention from those lashes, pout and gurgling laughter quite easily!
But I digress. As always.
The last few days MLM and I have been getting into tiffs every morning about his going to school, brushing, getting up in the morning…you name it and we’ve butted heads about it. He literally so.
Today when I picked him up I thought why not offer an olive branch. If nothing else it’ll help when I have to pack and get my work done. So we drove by KFC and decided to get some Popcorn Chicken for him- it’s his favorite thing to eat in the world. Next to chocolate. DUH!
So we went and paid in the drive through and went around the bend (seriously!) to pick up the grub. In the meanwhile the little man sneezed and wiped his face on his sleeve. The prim and proper mother than I aim to be from time to time, I told him he is to use a tissue and say ‘Excuse Me’ when he sneezes.
Pat came the reply- Excuse Me I want some Popcorn Chicken please! Just the same thing he’d told the lady at the drive through window.
Yikes! Is he going to go through life thinking everything’s centered around a drive-thru window?