I Get By With A Lil Help From My Apps

I’m a wee bit narcissistic. I like to look good although you couldn’t tell that from my perpetual “in sweatpants and loose tshirts” style but I do like to dress up.

Even more so, I like to have a clear complexion and a healthy glow that isn’t brought on by a cornucopia of make-up.

Sadly, the latter’s not been in my favor for a while and going to a derma doc to figure out why the face is becoming a ‘join-the-dots-page’ is also not on the horizon at this time.

The first time I used Snapchat it was purely on a lark and its utter airbrushed, emphasis-on-fair quality made me think that it would promote unreasonable notions of fairness and “prettiness” in the vulnerable, impressionable young people but damn my skin looked good!

Over time it’s become my go-to silly-time app. The filters are ridiculous and whether am sporting a beard, a hat or big bunny ears, it’s all good because the chuckle-factor is fairly high.

And we could all do with more chuckles in life especially during times of uncertainty, crisis and being at crossroads in our lives.

Cheers to Snapchat! May your filters multiply and may your tribe grow…naah..you have enough users..

Songs For Social Distancing…

Hey if I could come up with a list of songs which go against social distancing, I can surely find a few which are all about it as well.

Let’s take a look, shall we? Again, no order or preference to them. Just the ones which popped in my mind-

1. Run Snow Patrol

2.Hit The Road Jack– Ray Charles

3. Alone– Heart

4. Wake Me Up When September Ends-Green Day

5. All By Myself– Eric Carmen

6. Away From The Sun- 3 Doors Down

7. Only The Lonely– Roy Orbison

8. Where the hell are my friends- LANY

9. Tea For One– Led Zeppelin

10. Lonely-Akon

And the clear winner with lyrics that actually state, “Run away, Run away, run away and save your life.
Run away, run away, run away if you want to survive.“…Real McCoy with Run Away!

The Non-Social Distancing Playlist

I play music when I head for my bath. And it’s usually a shuffled playlist so things stay interesting. Music Musical Notes GIF - Music MusicalNotes MusicIsLife GIFs

In any case, the playlist chose Springsteen’s Human Touch and while I love that song, I laughed to myself thinking that it was so, so not right during the time of social distancing and shelter in place. And because I am thoroughly bummed out by the state of the world right now, I thought why not come up with atleast ten songs that totally go against the need of the hour aka staying in isolation, indoors and basically away from the rest of the world.

Here they are in no particular order!

  1. Human Touch– Bruce Springsteen
  2. Come On Over– Christina Aguilera
  3. Hug Me– Pharrell Williams
  4. I Drove All Night– Roy Orbison
  5. Close To You– Maxi Priest
  6. Baby Come To Me– Patti Austin&James Ingram
  7. With Arms Wide Open– Creed
  8. I Want To Break Free-Queen
  9. Come Together– Beatles
  10. Come As You Are– Nirvana

Headbanging GIFs | Tenor

7 Degrees of Blondeness

My father sends me a lot of forwards. And when I say a lot I mean a lot. And I used to be the Queen of Forwards once upon a time.

But some of his forwards are truly entertaining. Like this one.

Read on and chuckle! I particularly LMAO’ed on #6.

Enjoy-

FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang
at 2 in the morning.The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said ‘How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here!’ and hung up.
The husband said, ‘Who was that?’

The wife answered, ‘I don’t know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.’

SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, ‘Hmm, this person looks familiar.’

The second blonde says, ‘Here, let me see!’
So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says,
‘You dummy, it’s me!’

THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, ‘No, honey, don’t do it!!!’
The blonde replies, ‘Shut up, you’re next!’

FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, ‘Go ahead, ask me, … I know ’em all.’

A friend says, ‘OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?’
The blonde replies,’Oh, that’s easy .. it’s W.’

FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: ‘Is it mine?’

SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, ‘That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware.’

SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, ‘I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!’

For all the blondes (men and women) reading this post, feel flattered. None of the other hair colors get this kind of press. We’re all just jealous. Yeah, that’s it. GEL-US-EE.