Mirthful Mondays

Who said Mondays are all about moaning and groaning about the weekend ending? Well..I haven’t said it yet. But the day’s young and my kid will be back from school in a few hours so I have time to make up my quota of Monday moans.

In the interim, here are some funnies that I got as an email forward. Pretty funny truth be told. Not all of it. Just bits and pieces. Just like Mondays.

Enjoy the chuckles!

1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

7. The patient refused autopsy. ( Say what?)

8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

9. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

10. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. (I would like to see that process of x-rating!)

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce. (Amen.)

17. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

18. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. (Cannot get over this one. Is it with the tent or without?)

19. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

20. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

21. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

22. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. (LOVE this!)

Did You Know About: Acute Otitis Media

Apparently one can’t just merrily honk away when ridding themselves of their vile phlegm.  Because you might end up with what I have- Acute Otitis Media. And it’s not a fun thing media or no media…for one, it’s acute and it hurts like a itch-bay and the feeling of a heaviness in your ear coupled with dimming of your hearing is nothing short of uncomfortable and a bit scary for a person like me who is already blind as a bat without her glasses.

So this is how it can (and did) happen( for moi)- I caught MLM’s cold and it was aggravated by the on-going construction in and around the apartment complex we live in. Initially I thought it was your garden variety cold and didn’t bother much with medication…I knew when MLM got better so would I…that is the natural progression of things. But since last night a crazy earache and all sorts of unwanted and uncomfortable sensations in my ear prompted me to visit our family ENT and he diagnosed it as AOM as a result of blowing my nose too enthusiastically 😦

Gaah…there are rules for everything now…most vexing…so am on antihistamines and antibiotics and MLM thinks a reclining fat woman is tantamount to having his personal jungle gym and trampoline :/

But am glad I consulted the doctor rather than just brush off the symptoms are being non-important…I actually have become a bit of an alarmist over the years…I’ve had some amount of experience working in hospitals and there you can see the simplest of things turn serious and often fatal. It sometimes gets a bit tough to separate the wheat from the chaff as it were.

While Red and I don’t take any risks when it comes to our child, we generally ride out mini health issues via OTC meds or just a bit of R&R (which in my book is a panacea for all ills).

But today it was an eye opener for me…the doctor put a probe in my ear and showed me how much swelling there was inside and all because I tried to do what came naturally during a cold- blow my nose!

That’ll teach me…

In the interim there are meds to be taken and sleepiness to be combated. Thank goodness I wasn’t asked to do a nasal lavage…that’d have torn it completely…I can see it now…MLML thinking am watering my nose a la the pots and plants on the balcony :p

Stay healthy everyone!

Did You Know About: Reactive Airway Disease

It took us a little over 2 years to understand that our HYPERACTIVE child might have some help with his hyperactivity. No, it’s not ADHD although I pored over the DSM and ICD in order to find something that would help me understand his relentlessness and lack of sleep.

The coughs, colds and persistent sleep disruptions took a toll on us as well. Added to that there was the on&off medication for the symptoms that we weren’t too happy about but it seemed to do the trick for the time being.

I have realized it’s a matter of immense luck to find the right doctor. And also at the right time. The doctor we finally ended up going to was one who specialized in Ear, Nose&Throat cases and immediately diagnosed MLM as having Reactive Airways Disease.

With more structured medicine doses and entirely different types of medicines we were able to achieve longer durations of sleep for MLM ( and consequently us) and wee dip in his hyperactivity.

In time though it was discovered that he had allergies which used to cause the cough and colds and once we identified them we were able to curb them to a large extent as well.

The piece de resistance was a minor but life-changing surgery for him which took care of his tonsils and adenoids (two things which used to give him a bad cough and make him snore like a trucker!)

Why was the surgery needed at all? Well it was like this- the adenoids were causing fluid build up in his ears leading to a diminished sense of hearing. Thankfully it was a reversible condition.

So we are nearly one year down the day of surgery and doing well thank goodness! His hearing is great! He can hear potato chips being bitten into or chocolate wrappers being opened. And his speech has improved to the extent where he can say Brontosaurus and Stegosaurus and string together sentences that are correct and make sense overall, grammatically and contextually.

For the parents out there who seem to be a bit paranoid about your child, it’s just fine. Paranoia helps at times, if nothing else then to just let you know that you were worried and that’s basically your job. To worry and think of the booboos and take them away for good.

But the flip side? Now that the speech is clear, coherent and LOUDER than before, I am hit with a barrage of words that rattle around my head all day long and sometimes in the night as well.

But that’s a small (and LOUD) price to pay to hear a small imp prattle along happily in his own way.

Amen