36

Image courtesy wisegeek.com

Ask a woman if she’s easier in her mind about being 36 years old versus being 36 in the waist and you can bet you’ll be on the receiving end of the MOST disdainful look which roughly translates to, ” Yeah right! AS IF! What kind of question is that anyhow? How DUH ARE you?!” and it goes on and on and on.

For someone who *is* 36 and enjoying it (so far), the fear of turning 36 in the waist wasn’t too far in the horizon. The girth has been expanding and innate laziness and a bad case of unstickittoiveness led me to think that henceforth denim (the wonder material and no, it’s not Lycra) might be something I could find and fit into with great difficulty.

And I’ll tell you why this is. The craze for skinny, low riding jeans for women seems to have taken over the world where the words comfort-fit are possibly the worst things you can say to a salesperson apparently. Each stack of denim, whether in the time-tested brands of Levis, Lee or Pepe, seems to have variations of skinny over and over again.

When a person like me, who hasn’t been remotely skinny EVER, heads over to shop for denim the sales people seem to gulp and summon their courage to tell me nothing is available in my size and probably won’t be unless I start to shop in stores which cater specifically to those of us who are more than reasonably well-fed.

I told Red I wanted a pair of new jeans on my birthday, the old one long having given up the ghost with all the thigh chaffing and splitting at the seams from my ever-expanding ways. He took it well although I suspect he had some scenes playing out in his head of me storming out of the trial rooms ranting about how only skinny people could shop off the rack these days for basic clothing yada yada yada.

And contrary to his usual manner of tasting his feet while he talks, he did not ask the sales girl to get me the largest size they had available. He merely gave me the floor and told me to pick what I liked and try it on. Phew…birthdays sure good days for husbands to learn tact. Sadly the next day they go back to square one.

Anyhoo, I picked a pair to try out and entertained scary thoughts of my own about all the huffing, puffing and jiggling up and down, hopping on one foot just to get the jeans on and then shimmying like you know who (the ladies who like to dance around poles with minimal to no clothes on) just to get the pants up to my waist when a miracle happened………….wait for it………………………………………………………………………………..The pants rose like magic (but not like extra-large clown pants) to meet me on their own. I was able to button the waist without doing the Lamaze huff-puffs and when I squatted to see how tightly the seams were being tested, they didn’t even whimper! Ask women how often they moon the trial room mirrors when test driving new jeans and you’ll have a bunch of women fit to cry their eyes out!

Manna from the heavens on the first pair of jeans?! Someone up there (or down there) wanted me to have a happy birthday for sure!

And what is the point of this rambling and avoidable description of me fitting into jeans? It’s not about the weight entirely. The older you get you do mellow but you also realize there might not be going back to certain things. A 28-inch waist for one. Not only because your kid would miss head butting your extra bouncy tummy and your husband would end up needing pillows to lean on instead of you but also because somewhere you made your peace with the flab. You certainly don’t want to nurture it but it’s there so what’re gonna do? You love to hate it!

Finding something that goes right, the way it’s supposed to, the first time around is a nice change from everything that you need to and have to work at. A pair of jeans that slid up the on the first try without any grunts out of you and were soft enough to sleep in as well, sometimes makes all the difference.

Now if it had turned out that my waist was 36 instead of my age, that would be a descent to a whole new level of madness and a totally different blog post altogether! We are talking a new level in the Inferno for God’s sake!

Salut!

The Lure Of Online Retail

There is something fantastic about shopping! It’s akin to a discovery. No matter what you’re buying. I remember on a family trip years ago to Europe, my father was overjoyed on seeing a large, ripe, pumpkin in a supermarket where we’d gone to buy (and become disappointed yet again) water. I guess the pumpkin reminded him of the food he loves to eat and seeing it in a foreign land was quite the thrill for him.

But getting back to shopping…it’s more than just spending money although that does become an integral part of it; but there’re a lot of sensations associated with it that elevate it to more than just a girly thing to do. Whether you possess estrogen or not, some of us like shopping for the high it gives rather than the acquisitions that are actually just the byproduct. Shopping, believe it or not, actually releases the happy chemicals that give you a high and in many cases, take your credit card to Mach speed. Shopping has been pooh-poohed as a cathartic experience but honestly speaking, those who haven’t tried it out shouldn’t knock it because the looking for something specific, finding it and being able to acquire it gives a sense of accomplishment. That kind of high stays with you and takes you through a few low spots as well.

Personally? I love going to flea markets although in all these years I’ve gone to just one. The new-fangled flea market also called pop-up bazaars haven’t really taken my fancy because they seem to have a rehash of things from stall to stall. In a real flea market there’s no end to the kind of things people can think of selling- jams&jellies, quilts, old stuff, new stuff, really old stuff, barely new stuff and from books to bookends to spoons and tshirts…it’s ALL there!

When Red goes abroad for his work I ask him to go down to the farmer’s market for me…not for a vicarious thrill because let’s face it, I”m not going to “get” any thrill from more than 13000 kms away. And yes, I *did* look it up. I like to know what I’m writing about. Call it one of my nicer quirks 🙂

But getting back to shopping, clothes, shoes, jewellery (something I just don’t do unless it’s junk jewellery), the variety is what is so attractive. The colors, the shapes, and of course the prices. While a lot of people just love freebies, I personally love a bargain. Not the one you have to haggle over and feel like you won back the Earth from the invaders but a good bargain where you like what you see, you like the price tacked up on it and it’s something you’re actually going to use. I’m a bit of a hoarder but with a kid around, hoarding is possibly the worst thing you can go to yourself, OCD or not!

Now traditional shopping entailed having to go out and walk up and down sidewalks and then browse around but in this day and age of parking problems, limited me-time et al, online retail is the new king in town! You can shop from comfort of your home, your bed and your loo even!

And it feels so, so nice and comfortable. Sit on your favorite spot on your favorite couch, get your coffee/tea/alcohol (for the revenge shopping- an explanation will be forthcoming eventually in a new post) and start clicking. It’s convenience galore and that’s why it’s the new addiction. A term’s even been coined for it, well for the broader term actually viz Oniomania, and we all know it’s just a matter of time before a specific term is coined for the online aspect as well.

But be as it may, this isn’t a post on the perils of it. Far from it. I encourage people to try it out at least once. The kind of insight I get about myself is amazing. Do you know you can be a window shopper online as well? It’s fun, it’s not harmful and it’s actually quite a distraction from the everyday humdrum.

As long as you know that caveat emptor applies everytime and everywhere…you’re good to go!

So log on, find out what’s new at Bergdorf, Barneys or Babyoye and maybe, just maybe cause a bit of ka-ching while you’re at it!

Things I Fancy

I found this site while browsing through app recos on my phone a couple of months back and have been hooked to it ever since. I’m not hooked to the extent that I’m actually buying stuff off it. It’s got a mixture of things that I can afford and stuff I look at wistfully but I haven’t bought anything. Yet.

And here’s the thing- listen up closely men because you’re getting a rare insight into the female psyche. Women really enjoy shopping. But they LOVE window shopping. And these days with people having less time on their hands courtesy their jobs, bringing up kids and folding laundry (when does this part end!!) and whatnot, screenshopping is a huge boon!

Window shopping is so exciting because imagining the possibilities of what you can do with the things you’re looking at is a mini trip in itself. And women like these kinds of trips. It doesn’t involve packing extra clothes, water, milk, juice and toys (gadgets) for a simple car ride to the supermarket! It’s something you do just for yourself. A little guilty pleasure with 0% guilt!

So I too indulge in this harmless activity knowing the credit card won’t get any excitement and neither will my husband’s blood pressure seeing the monthly statement.

Anyhoo! so back to Fancy..it’s got some really whimsical things I enjoy looking at and bookmarking them and then I thought why not share these things with random people I don’t know and add more to the clutter that is in their cyberspace. Just being a good neighbor in the blogosphere.

So here goes, in no particular order of preference, some of my Fancy’d-

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How cute are you!!

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I could definitely imagine chomping on this by accident!

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Who wouldn’t like to bounce on top of water in a setting that resembles the movie Deep Blue Sea

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What I’m going to be saying while the offspring is a teenager

So while some of you might be thinking, window shopping…really? That’s what women want? Just remember- windows are nice to look through and it doesn’t hurt to look; as long as the credit card is locked FAR away!