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So here we are again…had to be, right? Birthdays being the yearly thing that they are. I am happy to report that the girth hasn’t kept up with my age. It would make turning 40 *quite* traumatic.

As time goes by, I find that I settle into these little traditions on certain days; birthday lunches with good friends. Bonding over booze is something that we cannot ever take too lightly. The same goes for importance of Bollywood music as it turns out. More on that later.

A good friend and I made a pact this year to discover new places (eateries) and try them out all through the year. And that’s been going on fairly steadily. I also try to make it for as many of the movies that I want to watch. Just got to head back before T.O gets back though and make it look like I’ve been busy folding clothes and doing laundry all day. Moms aren’t allowed to have too much fun without their kids or so the thought process goes.

Have more leisure time on my hands since I stopped working and most days are a heady mix of streaming something on Netflix and reading. It’s actually become a lot of rereading but books never go out of style. Especially John Sandford.

Book Read GIF

Image result for reading books meme

My relationship with being healthy is an out of sight-out of mind kind of thing. If I’m not focused on it, it’ll never happen. And I end up losing focus very quickly in this area. Note to self: find out if ADD can happen selectively in a person’s life. All I can say is that I’ve not been patronizing unhealthy foods as much as I used to.

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diddly squats

This past year has been one that’s been quite memorable. More facetime (not app,the actual kind) with friends and a bit of travel here and there.

I’ve basically trying hard not to make too many plans. I’ve always been a planner. Long before summer break came about, my suitcase would be packed up and I’d enjoy the process of planning for everything I’d be taking along with me. The little joys as it were.

But while planning is fine, sometimes in planning too much you kind of miss the day-to-day. And the day to day is what adds up to everything else when you sit back and look at everything that’s been done. So that’s the focus now. Plan but at a slower pace and sometimes just let things happen. My kid broke a hand. We dealt with it. He’s now swinging from monkey bars and swinging cricket bats with equal ease. Can’t plan for every eventuality and when stuff crops up, you deal. Simple. Red left his job, took a sabbatical and then got back on to the grind sooner than we thought. The only plans we made uber seriously, were about securing the future for our child and us. Everything else was icing on the cake.

So while I’ll never be the fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda person, I’m still going to (try to) take it easy. Maybe. Possibly. I’ll make a list… Sheeesh!

A quick look at the day itself and the night after.

Jager Bombs!

The jingbang who help cut the cake every year

Salut!

Why Should I?

Why should I *have* to like cooking?

Why should I worry about calorie intake and the amount of sugar my kids ought to get? We have dentists and I have money ergo…well…figure it out.

Why should I be buying the bedsheets and crap all the time? Aren’t there any geometric patterned bedsheets and covers to ever tempt a man into buying one for once in his life?

Why should I have to buy the deodorizers for the house? Can’t anyone tell if there’s a stink? Does estrogen give me an enhanced capacity to sniff stuff out?

Why can’t I just sit still and be like Al Bundy? That was a good life..

Weekending The Right Way

A lot of us just imitate potatoes (or any other veggies if you’re cutting down on starch) on the weekends. And any doctor worth their salt erm degrees will tell you that some moments of inertia are needed. Whether you use that to contemplate, zone out or catnap; it’s all good. But too much of inertia can make it difficult to get back in the game as well.

Here’s what my family and I do…and take it from me…we are BIG procrastinators and potato-imitators but our weekends are usually quite enjoyable.

Everyone gets space to waste time for a bit. A bit can extend to an hour or two but that’s it. Lounging on a sofa  for hours on end better mean that you’ve ended the World Food Shortage or found a cure for a terminal illness while being cut off from the world around you.

Encouraging proper naps. Especially after a nice heavy lunch, something we Indians practically have a patent on. Naps together are recommended as well. Unless one of you is a light sleeper or fidgety in which case…find a couch to crash on bucko!

Time on your own but together. All that means is each one can be involved in a different activity (provided not terribly discordant) and still share the same space. Weekends aren’t about living in each others’ pockets.

Doing chores together makes it less tedious and occasionally (make it rarely) helps certain fussbudget members of the family realize that damn! we do go through a lot of clothes and NO! they don’t wash and fold themselves or maybe I should empty my pockets while putting the pants in the wash or unfolding my sleeves for a change!

My family also recommends doing something that one of us chooses for the whole family. That often ends up being swimming (my kid), watching cricket (my husband), or going for a drive with She- Wolf blaring on the speakers. Wait…scratch the last one. Only I get to do that.

Main thing is that the weekends don’t have to be about bonding as a rule. Each one can keep spinning in their orbits provided they all cross each other’s path occasionally instead of going further and further away.

Earlier I used to get a bit frustrated and pass it onto my family because I felt the utilization of time wasn’t happening adequately enough. But now, each one does their own thing and still gravitates towards one another because in nuclear families that’s *bound* to happen.

Try it out. I am…blogging while my kid watches Little Einsteins and the husband watches the U.S Open.This morning my kid had an art class while my husband finished some office stuff and I got some trip photos organized. All things that we each wanted to do individually but didn’t have much value to the other family members. After t.v. time gets over it’s board games and a trip to the Chocolate Room for gooey, sticky brownies for me and my kid while the husband plays tennis.

And who knows what the night will bring…anything’s possible!

Happy Weekend!

Escape Into Fantasy- A Parenting Placebo

Every now and then I like to pretend. That things in my home are nearly picture perfect. When I sit down on the couch, or a chair I’m not likely to sit on a clothes pin that will jab me in the gluteus maximus. That I will have my coffee in peace, at length and savor each vitalizing sip.

That going to bathe will not mean the rescue of wild animals and divers from buckets before I can aim the shower jets at myself. Or that touching any random surface in the kitchen will not reveal a presence of stickiness which will either be jam or peanut butter.

The floors will be spotless instead of having tell-tale signs of a child who runs with his glasses of milk and juice in hand. The moment I put my foot on the floor when I get up in the middle of the night I’m not going be poked by a triceratops or land on a Hot Wheels car with God know whats stuck on its hood.

I also like to pretend that when my adorable, beautiful little boy wakes up in the morning it will be accompanied by a Good Morning rather than a sound that mimics the ambulance siren down to the last cringe-worthy pitch and tone.

The fantasy isn’t one of being single or not being a parent. Because that’s not entirely a desired state of being either. Once you have kids, you may not always be able to connect with that time in your life when they weren’t around. Brats or not…they’ve fit in seamlessly and that’s how it should be. But there’s such a calming effect to the fantasy ( aka delusion) that things are in their own place, the house is clean, all the little monsters that your little monster plays with are in their rightful place and if you want to, you can just NOT RUSH while you go about doing the prosaic little things that make up your life viz doing the laundry, taking in the laundry, hanging out the laundry, folding the laundry, making the beds, planning the meals, trying to recall if the wooden stuff needs another polish and if the leather stuff can go another week without its spray and polish….you know, all the little joys we embrace when we decide to be a home maker rather than climb up the corporate ladder in any shape or form.

But reality does set it. A small person comes back home, ecstatic to see you after a few hours of being away in school. And while you are the go-to person for turning on the t.v or sourcing the iPad and assuaging hunger, you are also the person they want with you when they are happy. You are the one they turn to.  For everything.

That’s a high that the best fantasy can’t begin to compare to on most days.

Image courtesy- canstockphoto.com/canstock16191715.jpg
Image courtesy- canstockphoto.com/canstock16191715.jpg

Happy Weekending People!