It’s A Hard Knock Life!

Enough with the wiping the drool! It’s a good look on me and it’s staying!

I have experience firsthand with only one child and that’s not counting the immature people in my life who refuse to grow up. I have one child. ONE. TO. But he might as well be part of a set of triplets the way he acts at times.

Dude…don’t harsh my buzz! Am in a Zen-kinda groove right now. Can’t hear anything about wet towels and messy closets. Talk to the hand.

One minute loving, sweet and the cutest kid in the whole world followed by split personality#1 who I would gladly leave at someone’s door along with split personality#2 who needs a whack on his butt before being left on someone’s doorstep.

I want it to be noted that am complying under duress and my fundamental rights are being infringed upon!

But all motherly love aside, it’s a tough time to be a kid.

Kids are meant to run free, be wild, let loose loud war cries, jump like they have springs on their feet and try to fly like gravity doesn’t exist. They’re meant to climb trees, wipe dirty hands on t-shirts, sneak ice cream on the days all cold stuff is off-limits and basically just do whatever their self-indulgent little minds tell them to do! But with the blessings of the Corona Goddess, life’s changed and not necessarily for the better!

Of course this fish is clean! They just washed it. Oh my hands? yeah..I washed them yesterday so we’re good!

The freedom to run out the door at will and share candy and chips out of the same packet is a thing of the past. Not washing hands is a crime punishable by a near court martial and soaps+ sanitisers are the new best friends they’ve been compelled to let into their lives. I’m not even going to touch upon the pain and anguish that face masks cause! Uff..someone call Amnesty International!

On the rare days kids get up early, they’d like to laze around, catch up on all the cricket scores from the previous night’s match and not necessarily spend their time “productively” or do a quick check to see if everything’s ready for the day’s classes.

Their parents on the other hand, mean mothers especially, intervene; insisting on them heading outside to catch some sunshine, walk or cycle and start their day “on a good note”. Pcch! Cinderella had it better!

I would do my chores but am a bit busy finding out about the state of the world while I drink my morning cuppa. Check back with me in a day or two or ten.

Moms get in the way of everything! Making friends with dogs, petting dogs, getting a dog! I mean who wants to worry about a tiny thing like allergies when faced with years of boisterous fun with a fellow tail wagger…wait that came out wrong. My child is not a puppy. He merely acts like one.

Moms are also the worst when they start outlining every area of the body which seems dirty and needs scrubbing. Offering to do it themselves if it’s not done properly the first time around.

And the insistence on baths is just mind boggling! Why would someone bathe twice a day? Once a week is enough isn’t it? And just who is going to be looking at the back of someone’s neck with such pretty eyes, chubby cheeks and a killer smile gracing the visage?!

Poor, poor kids…what a hardship it must be to have to live well, sleep on time, change clothes and not look like a hobo, eat veggies&fruits and be clean.


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