Saturday Facepalms

My kid rates fairly middling to high on the maintenance scale. As a family am sure we all do. In each others’s eyes if nothing elseImage result for keep calm+family

We rate above average on the drama scale too. And not the kind that rates the good drama and invites curtain calls and huge bouquets of roses. This is the soap opera kind which has varying quantities of MELOdrama, pathos, angst and ire. And that’s all in the first few sentences uttered by TO. I am perpetually the evil witch and boy am I glad! It maybe in the genes but when I see a kid who acts up, my palms itch to connect with their backsides and bring out all the shades in the spectrum of red.

One thing that TO has been pulling on us is threatening to run away each time he gets UBER exasperated with us. The first time he pulled that nonsense I admit, I was taken aback but then knowing his love for peanut butter and the telly; I knew he’d be back. And he was.

Fastforward a couple of years and this morning suddenly the “I’m leaving” bomb gets dropped on our head. Again. Red was no help at all being the good cop.

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Thankfully I was fully caffeinated and had happy things to do for the rest of the weekend so I didn’t sweat it. I asked TO to make out a list of places he thought he could go and stay in and keep the list a bit long in case some people were unavailable to have him crash at their place long-term or use their wi-fi free of cost- whichever is the bigger transgression.

Not surprisingly, he quickly changed his tune. He started negotiating with me and started tell me that for the low, low cost of screen time, I could have the pleasure of his company at home forever. Clearly this mom found that too high a price to pay so I insisted that he keep the list ready since he was going to get the digital media taken away sooner or later and he’d again get upset and want to leave.

I even suggested putting the list up on his door, in big, bold font and colors so it would be easier for him to choose where he wanted to go and live. Weird how soon the threat fizzled out soon after that. If this were a cartoon, TO would be like a balloon, whizzing around the room, rapidly deflating.

Evil Mom-1. Whiny Kid-0

Nuff said!

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Weekending The Right Way

A lot of us just imitate potatoes (or any other veggies if you’re cutting down on starch) on the weekends. And any doctor worth their salt erm degrees will tell you that some moments of inertia are needed. Whether you use that to contemplate, zone out or catnap; it’s all good. But too much of inertia can make it difficult to get back in the game as well.

Here’s what my family and I do…and take it from me…we are BIG procrastinators and potato-imitators but our weekends are usually quite enjoyable.

Everyone gets space to waste time for a bit. A bit can extend to an hour or two but that’s it. Lounging on a sofa  for hours on end better mean that you’ve ended the World Food Shortage or found a cure for a terminal illness while being cut off from the world around you.

Encouraging proper naps. Especially after a nice heavy lunch, something we Indians practically have a patent on. Naps together are recommended as well. Unless one of you is a light sleeper or fidgety in which case…find a couch to crash on bucko!

Time on your own but together. All that means is each one can be involved in a different activity (provided not terribly discordant) and still share the same space. Weekends aren’t about living in each others’ pockets.

Doing chores together makes it less tedious and occasionally (make it rarely) helps certain fussbudget members of the family realize that damn! we do go through a lot of clothes and NO! they don’t wash and fold themselves or maybe I should empty my pockets while putting the pants in the wash or unfolding my sleeves for a change!

My family also recommends doing something that one of us chooses for the whole family. That often ends up being swimming (my kid), watching cricket (my husband), or going for a drive with She- Wolf blaring on the speakers. Wait…scratch the last one. Only I get to do that.

Main thing is that the weekends don’t have to be about bonding as a rule. Each one can keep spinning in their orbits provided they all cross each other’s path occasionally instead of going further and further away.

Earlier I used to get a bit frustrated and pass it onto my family because I felt the utilization of time wasn’t happening adequately enough. But now, each one does their own thing and still gravitates towards one another because in nuclear families that’s *bound* to happen.

Try it out. I am…blogging while my kid watches Little Einsteins and the husband watches the U.S Open.This morning my kid had an art class while my husband finished some office stuff and I got some trip photos organized. All things that we each wanted to do individually but didn’t have much value to the other family members. After t.v. time gets over it’s board games and a trip to the Chocolate Room for gooey, sticky brownies for me and my kid while the husband plays tennis.

And who knows what the night will bring…anything’s possible!

Happy Weekend!

The Importance Of Dumb Stuff In Life

We all like to be productive. Some of us genuinely so and many of us who just like to feel like we did something worthwhile instead of just idled our time away. Because even when you idle your time away, it needs to be for an optimum amount. Else you get bored with idling and then there’s REALLY nothing for you to do since if you aren’t idling you have to be doing SOMETHING. And you were idling because there was NOTHING to do.

Yes. A real conundrum. But be as that may, the idea is to find something that gives you the feel of engaging in an activity without making you feel like you’re doing something. Because that would signify being active wouldn’t it?

That’s where watching dumb movies comes in. It’s so mindless, there’s no palpable suspense or acting to look forward to. It’s a foregone conclusion that the movie will not be making it to the Oscars or even leave any sort of imprint on you except maybe to help you pass a boring time of day; hopefully even lulling you to sleep if you’re lucky enough.

I don’t always have a lot of time on my hands but I do get bored quite a bit since my near-constant companion is almost 30 years younger than I am and we don’t always define “fun” the same way each time.

When I do have the time to myself where I know that pursuing an activity I really want to do won’t be viable I fall back on the dumbest of the dumb (movies that is) because you can (and often do have to) leave it midway without even sparing a thought about what’s happen next.

For those of you who do find yourselves in similar situations here’s a list of movies you can turn to to help abate the boredom. This list is merely a suggestion and nothing more. For those whose boredom gets exacerbated due to it, my apologies and I’ll emphasize caveat emptor very strongly.

On we go-

  • Ghost Shark– A MUST watch. It’s quite funny actually without being terribly gory and it’s a novel concept in itself which saves it from being run-of-the-mill; a double whammy if there ever was one.
  • Teeth– Not really the black comedy it was marketed to be. It wasn’t funny at all but the idea behind it was interesting, for lack of a better word.
  • White Chicks– the movie needs no explanation at all once its known it’s by the Wayan brothers so..nuff said.
  • The Scary Movie franchise. Parodies have never been more crass but hey boredom is a bitch too.
  • A rehash of any movie you’ve watched so many times that you can keep playing it in your head even if the lights go off.

If all else fails, just sit quietly for 2 minutes for chances are if you’re a woman, someone will yell out/ whine about something they want you to do.