Some of us actively live in the past. How things were, how they happened et al. And that’s understandable. There’s a comfort in looking back at things which have already occurred. You don’t need to worry about them again…they’re done. Maybe not dusted but you know how they’ve played out. It’s *not* the unknown. The present is fluid and the future uncertain so the past is often the only reliable thing you have.
The past is a powerful thing. It shapes you. It holds a repository of YOU and your life that you can go back to and pluck instances out of that help you in your present and may help you in the future.
There are times when I pass by a place where significant things in my life have occurred and if I try hard enough I can actually see myself there. Not too clearly but as a hazy memory. Too clearly and it’s ground for being certifiable :p
But sometimes a walk down memory lane helps. Especially when you’re getting your present to pull up it’s socks and get it’s act together!
When I was a kid studying in P.S 20 in Flushing, N.Y.C we learnt about the Pilgrims and how Thanksgiving came about.
In India, we don’t have a dedicated holiday to commemorate Thanksgiving but global trends being what they are, things catch on and we get together to eat the Thanksgiving turkey, reach out to friends and family during this time and give our thanks for good health, the life we lead et al.
But at times it’s essential to give thanks for things that keep us grounded and “normal” even before the onset of the holiday.
Anyone who knows me well will vouch for the fact that being demure, having patience and essentially being ladylike isn’t in my DNA or my behavior.
While I’m faar off from being uncouth but flaring up, mouthing off and generally not holding back on my opinions of things and people who irritate me is something that I’m prone to do. And I *do* tend to go on about it.
This move to a new apartment and getting the kinks worked out has been stressful to an extreme I’ve not experienced before. We are bereft of daily emotional support barring each other (Red& I i.e.), work isn’t something that agrees to take a backseat entirely and having an active and lively child entails pushing yourself above and beyond the known resources of energy and mental stamina.
In the midst of all this if you throw vendors who are tardy to the point of being almost absent, work pressures and seeing so little of each other that we’re practically bonded via chat apps and sms, it creates fissures in one’s equilibrium that are very difficult to overcome.
See, accepting that there is imbalance in the immediate environment is inevitable. To what extent you allow it to develop from being a bugbear to a maelstrom is entirely your call.
So here I am giving thanks for people who are my safety net, my outlets for inconvenient outbursts and rants and generally who make me feel that no matter HOW untethered I feel I don’t actually come undone.