I’ll admit it here and possibly have it engraved on a metal plate and hang it somewhere prominently…NO ONE CAN SHOCK ME AS MUCH AS MY CHILD!
While I was dropping him to school this morning he suddenly got very excited and shouted out, ” LOOK! FUCKS!” I nearly had a WTF moment myself and carefully asked him, ” What did you say?” To which the pat came the reply, ” TWO FUCKS!” By this time I had a sinking feeling in my stomach and was wondering how to tell Red that our only child had been initiated in the unholy world of profanity when the tiny paws that pass for MLM’s hands gripped my ponytail and started tugging to show me the “fucks”. And I saw them…2 dogs with small bodies, bushy tails and pointy ears like that of a FOX! DUH! DUH! DUH!
So like every ostensibly responsible mother I started to enunciate FOX properly and asked him to repeat after me but to no avail. And 15 minute car trips are hardly long enough to pass on life lessons let alone pronunciations so I let it be for then. But I’ve roped in his teachers so they can help him change his verbal outlook towards this poor poor animal who unknowingly almost caused a mother to screech to a stop in the middle of commuter traffic in the morning.
Oh FOX!

I am still looking for an languist who understands and speaks toddler. I know within a few years I wish I didn’t understand or speak “teen.”
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I’ll let you know when I get to the stage where I need to decipher teenspeak 🙂
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