My life with MLM of late as been like this-
Me@6:15 am: Get up baby, it’s time for school. (Gives loads of kisses and tousles the porcupine hair, sticking up everywhere because of static)
MLM: answering by snores.
Me (shaking him gently): get up (followed up all sorts of oddly named endearments).
MLM: IdonwannaIissleepyIwant…..trailing off into soft snores.
Me (looking at clock): It’s 6:30 already!! GET UP!
Me (tickling him): Getupgetupgetup!
MLM: FINE!!! and droops over my lap/shoulder/ any place where he can drape his body comfortably.
Me: UP! RIGHT NOW!!
Me: FINE! Stay that way! (tacking on whatever threat is the most effective at the moment).
MLM: Drags himself out of bed a la The Walking Dead and goes and plops himself onto the couch.
Me: AREYOUKIDDINGME?!! GETUPNOW!!
Red: (stumbling out of bed and frowning) Why are you yelling? (directed at me). Go have your coffee and I’ll handle this.(prepares to be the good cop)
2 minutes later
Red (to me): Go and get him to drink his milk, he’s not listening (absent mindedly goes off to brush his teeth while scratching his left bum cheek. Always the left. Don’t ask me why.)
Me (fully caffeinated and back on the job): COMEON! LET’S GO! WE’RE LATE!
MLM: Idontwantogotoschool!! Iwanttocolor! Iwanttoreadmybook! Idontwanttobathe! BadgirlAyu! I’mnevergoingtobeyourfriend. NEVERNEVERNEVER!!
Ah the joys of parenting and predictability of a sleepy child’s behavior on a winter morning. AND…I get to do this all over again. Tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.